Teach me how to love
by evenstar lady
Summary: When Byakuya is forced to face an important decision, he makes a safe choice to keep his life unaffected. What he didn't know was how it was going to change his life, and heart completely. ByaRuki. My first ever fanfic.
1. Faced with the Dilemma

**~Dedicated to Byaruki-ness~**

* * *

Byakuya strode slowly through the halls, his feet gliding gracefully across the polished wood, his silvery white scarf billowing softly behind him. Byakuya painted the picture of perfection, everything about him was flawless, even the stray strands of hair falling across his eyes from his _kenseikan_. Perfect.

As a member of the most important royal family in all of Soul Society, the Kuchiki clan, and indeed the head, Byakuya had worked decades to be where he was now. His authoritative air, the unreadable expression, the immovable principles he held; they were all cultivated to help him hold the Kuchiki leadership and to keep the royal name pure and untainted.

However, there had been instances in the past where he had betrayed and ultimately smeared upon that name. To be exact, _two_ instances. One was when he had taken in his wife, Hisana from the Rukongai into his family. He clearly remembered the hostility and shock in his family members' objections. They were so harsh and unforgiving. And yet, when he thought of Hisana's soft eyes and her gentle smile, he was willing to take the words thrown at him a million times more. He was willing to take a thousand daggers into his body and still marry her. He wanted her. He loved her. All he wished was to spend his life with her forever. And so he overrode his family's objection and married her. Five years was all his heaven lasted. He had discovered his soulmate only to lose her, when Hisana succumbed to a long illness in the fifth year of their marriage. That day, the day the first sakura bloomed, was the day something _died _in Kuchiki Byakuya.

'_Focus_,' Byakuya shook himself, and continued on his way to his Sixth Division office. He did not want to be looking lost in thought; _he_, the formidable head of the Kuchiki family.

Byakuya reached his office and looked into the room. He noted the empty desk that was Renji Abarai's, his harebrained lieutenant with a ridiculous shade of red for his hair. As Byakuya wondered what Renji was doing when he was supposed to be occupied with his usual duty report, he heard fast footsteps approaching.

"Kuchiki tai-chou."

"What is it?" He turned.

"Tai-chou, your grandfather, Kuchiki Ginrei has sent a message to you. He requests all Kuchiki members to be in the Kuchiki hall by six today. _All_ Kuchiki members."

Byakuya looked at the messenger in mild surprise. His grandfather must have an important announcement to make. He did not usually send messages to the Shinigami headquarters, preferring to discuss matters with Byakuya after he got home. And there was that intentional stress on '_All_ Kuchiki members' at the end. His grandfather wanted him _and_ Rukia to be present. '_Why_?' Byakuya wondered.

"I understand. You may withdraw."

"_Hai_, Kuchiki tai-chou."

"Wait."

"Yes, Kuchiki tai-chou?"

"Have you seen Abarai?"

"Lieutenant Abarai, tai-chou? I heard he's gone to the Thirteenth Division office." The officer allowed a small knowing smile to form before quickly rearranging his face into a more serious façade upon Byakuya's gaze.

Byakuya tried not to sigh out loud. Renji Abarai and Thirteenth Division. These two words can only be found together when there is another person involved. _Rukia_. Renji often waltzed off to the Thirteenth Division to pick a fight with Rukia or pester her on something completely irrelevant. He knew the hint of feelings his lieutenant probably harbored for his sister but he wasn't so sure she did (and speaking of that, he as a brother wouldn't be so accommodating as well). He had heard his sister complaining about Abarai's antics just the day before, not to _him _though. Rukia never complained about anything to him, never made a sound about anything. She knew the importance of the peace and seriousness the Kuchiki family head priced about everything else. So she played the very quiet and composed small-sister role, though Byakuya knew for certain the act was killing the true rebel inside of her. Each time they had a conversation, he could see Rukia (though he cannot be too sure, he had never looked properly at her before) straining herself and dying to leave the formal talk. He also knew she was afraid of him, by the way she loved looking at edges of his robes brushing his shoes rather than his face. Byakuya wasn't complaining though, he rarely looked at _her_ himself.

Byakuya allowed himself several minutes before moving out of the office. It was nearing six anyway and he had completed all his duties for today. He would go and have a word with Renji, and then fetch Rukia.

As he made his way to the Thirteenth Division headquarters, he allowed his mind to drift again. _Rukia_. The second instance he went against the Kuchiki family's name. He had made a promise to Hisana on her deathbed to find the sister she had abandoned and to care for the girl. He had spent only one year searching after Hisana's death and he found her then. Almost like it was fated.

He remembered the day clearly. He was making his usual round in the Shinigami Academy, and he was prepared to go home after a tiring and uneventful day. He had paused by the door of the second-ranked class of the academy as his eyes swept the class. He did not rely on name registers to find that sister as he figured he probably wouldn't know the name anyway even if it presented itself right in front of his eyes. So he decided to count on his sight, knowing he would recognize a hint of Hisana in the girl he was looking for. He didn't need to try hard. Nobody would need to.

When he saw her, it was all he took not to shout out Hisana's name when he saw her. At first, he thought he had indeed saw his Hisana, and a bright hope had burned suddenly in his cold heart. She had looked exactly like Hisana; the same build, the same eyes, the same hair. He had stood there observing her for a very long time and she never noticed. As he observed her more, he saw the subtle differences. Hisana's sister possessed a grit and strength Hisana never had (probably from the hard life Byakuya guessed she had) and a more serious expression in contrast to Hisana's usual smile. And she was definitely not gentle as his Hisana; he saw her shouting at a red-haired boy and smacking his arm repeatedly.

He made the necessary arrangements the very next day to adopt her into the Kuchiki family, meeting hostile outbursts once again from his family members. But again, he prevailed but vowed never to break the rules again.

Byakuya looked up and noticed the wooden signboard mounted high on the entrance. Without realizing it, he had arrived at Thirteenth Division headquarters. He stepped in, tracking Rukia by her reiatsu.

_'Ukitake keeps his garden tended well_,' Byakuya noted as he passed the trees and terraces on the way. '_Only few people knew the importance of tranquility and peace for the soul_.'

Then he heard the noises and looked ahead.

"_Mai, sode no shirayuki_."

He saw her sweep her hand across her pale white sword, producing a shower of glittering snow from her movement. Saw her stab the ground five times with her sword producing four pillars of revolving ice particles from them. Saw her face contort with concentration, as her hair flew about her and her purplish eyes narrowed. Byakuya had never seen Rukia practice with her Zanpakutou. He stayed silent and observed her every movement, the second time he ever did. And like the first time, she did not notice.

He saw the huge flash of white as she shot a gigantic ice wave toward the thick red poles situated at the furthest end of the garden. The wave exploded and cold air rushed in every direction in a dazzling haze of white. As the icy fog slowly lifted, Rukia ran over to the poles to examine them. Out of the five, four of them were encased in solid ice.

"Ahhh, you missed by a little!!" Renji shouted in frustration, like he had been the one to miss the sole pillar with his own Zabimaru.

Rukia lowered her Zanpakutou, disappointed. She turned around. "I guess I just have to practice a bit m-…. _Nii-sama_???"

Her eyes widened in surprise, and Renji nearly fell off the high rock he was perched on. "_Tai-chou_!!!"

Byakuya stepped forward, from where he had been standing

'_How long had he been watching_?' Rukia wondered, nervous. It didn't matter. Byakuya did not even glance at her, nor did he comment on her training.

"Abarai, what are you doing _here_?"

"Tai-chou, I- I was here helping Rukia practice."

"Is your duty report complete?"

Rukia saw Renji's eyes widened as he remembered. "Oh, Tai-chou!!! I… FORGOT!!!"

"Do it now and put it on my table. I shall review it tomorrow."

He turned to Rukia. "Rukia. If you have successfully completed your duties, I believe we can go home now."

He saw her questioning look and gave her the explanation. "Lord Ginrei requested a meeting with all Kuchiki members at six. I believe it includes me, _and _you."

Rukia's face was still filled with questions but when Byakuya turned to go, she fell into step behind him dutifully. They walked off, leaving Renji flustered at his lack of memory and the long workload ahead of him.

The journey home was silent. Rukia, as usual, walked side by side with Byakuya but left a slight distance between their pace so Byakuya was leading. She always did. Rukia wondered what was going on at the Kuchiki residence. And she wondered how long had he been watching her as she had practiced just now. Long enough to watch her being a klutz, apparently. '_Which is probably why he's not commenting on my performance_,' Ruki thought miserably.

'_Why did he have to watch me when I am at my worst?_'

Rukia always had an unfulfilled dream to make her brother proud of her. She wanted to try her best as a Shinigami and have Byakuya witness her success. She had always wanted something from her brother and she knew it to be _acceptance_. A sign that he accepted her. And maybe even… _cared_ for her. And she wasn't going to deny it, she craved for that. Someone to care for her like a family. She did not know if he really did. Most of the time he asked her about her duty, and she hated reporting any failures to him. He did not look at her, he never asked her how her day was, or her feelings. It was all about duty, work, and duty.

Yet, at certain times, she always found him near her when danger was about. Like when she woke up and saw him bleeding badly with his captain _haori_ on the ground, having defeated Zommari who had tried to attack her. Like when she woke up and saw him after being seriously injured by the female Bount, Yoshi. She always seemed to be waking up from danger to see his face the first thing her eyes opened. He had appeared at rare moments like this, but most of the time, he was just distant and formal with her.

They walked on in silence.

* * *

"_Byakuya_." The old voice withered away by age but still showing the depth of wisdom and experience of lifetimes from holding the positions Byakuya now occupied, spoke.

Byakuya stopped walking, so did Rukia. "_Grandfather_."

"_Come_." Ginrei Kuchiki was no longer the strong and youthful Shinigami captain nor the Kuchiki leader he used to be, but his authority was evident in his tone. Byakuya nodded and entered the hall. He paused at the threshold of the gathering hall as Ginrei stepped in front of Rukia.

"Rukia, I would like you to stay outside for now. You will be called in later."

Rukia nodded, puzzled. She was called, but she was going in _later_? It did not make any sense. Unless…unless the meeting concerned _her_? Countless negative thoughts flooded her mind. Did she do anything wrong? Anything that had brought down the Kuchiki name? Were they going to kick her out? She had made sure to follow the rules, didn't she? Would something concerning her required all members of the royal Kuchiki members present? She looked at her brother's receding back, as he walked to the front of the hall. She could have sworn he had turned slightly to look at her as his grandfather had halt her entry but that moment had passed. He continued his steps past the members of his honoured family. The doors closed behind him, effectively ending Rukia's sight of her cold brother.

* * *

"_Pardon?_" Byakuya's ash grey eyes were penetrating.

"Byakuya, you heard me." Ginrei put the ends of his fingers together, as he observed his beloved grandson. "We, all members of the Kuchiki clan," he motioned with his hands at all the men and women now seated in the hall, whose eyes were all focused on the one Byakuya, "we believe it's time you _remarry_."

Byakuya allowed a moment to let the shock and tension pass internally through him, his expression on the front ever calm and unwavering. "I believe a matter of such nature is very much unnecessary."

"But all of us do _not_. As the head of the family, it is important for you, Byakuya to cultivate that image. The image of a family. A man is never complete without a woman behind him. We all would want for you to have that. All in all, we just want you to be _happy_." Ginrei's love for his only grandson was evident in his voice, and Byakuya struggled to tell him he was fine like that, when he was not. But no marriage was going to make this right. And the only way to make him right was _gone_ a long time ago.

"I - There is no need for that. And even if it were to be so, am I going to go for meetings with your potential candidates? Because if it is, I regrettably have my Shinigami duties as a Captain as you all very well know."

"Ah well yes, Byakuya, the meetings… as for that, we might be able to find another way-" Ginrei trailed off as his glance ticked far off to the door of the hall, before quickly coming back to his grandson.

Byakuya had caught the involuntary gesture, and he felt his blood turn into ice water in his veins. _No_.

"No." He said as firm as his commanding deep voice could manage, but he somehow felt his tone wobble a little.

"I will be honest with you, Byakuya. When you took her in, I did not object as much as the others." Ginrei looked into the faces of the hall, and several bowed their heads. "It was because I wanted to give both of you a chance, perhaps to discover something together off on your own."

"No. She is my _sister_."

"She is Hisana's sister."

"No."

"She looks very much like Hisana, does she not? Do you not think so? Not even _once_?" Ginrei raised his eyebrows at his increasingly flustered grandson.

"She is _not_ Hisana."

Byakuya knew his strong front was cracking slowly in front of his grandfather, and he knew his grandfather had caught onto it. He hated himself for that. Quickly, he stood up. "Nobody is to mention this to Rukia. Do I make myself _clear_?" His tone was a bit more firm and commanding than usual. He strode across the hall, his grandfather staring behind him.

When the door creaked, Rukia jumped to her feet. "Nii-sama!"

"Rukia, you may go to your room _now_."

"Nii-sama, but ……"

"You may withdraw _now_."

Rukia started to say more but she stopped at Byakuya's fierce expression. She rarely saw him like this, his eyes burning yet his expression carefully concealed.

"Yes, Nii-sama. Good night." She walked off quickly to her room. Byakuya closed the door.

* * *

Byakuya sat in his bedroom that night, thinking. Thinking of the defeat he suffered just hours earlier.

_A chance, to discover something together on your own._

_She is my sister._

_She looks very much like Hisana, does she not? Do you not think so? Not even once?_

_Did you not think so? Not even once?_ The ultimate line that had made him crumble and stutter like a child. He felt so exposed in front of that question, in front of his grandfather, in front of members of his clan. Because of course he did. Not once. Not twice. It was _impossible_ not to. They looked so much like each other. So much it _hurts_. It pained Byakuya so much to see the living specimen of his desires and despair walking around in his mansion all day. A face engraved in his heart projected onto another person, a living person who lived and breathed in his house. So near, but never close enough to touch. It was the only one reason he averted his eyes from her. Because she was not Hisana. She was never _his_, to begin with. He was in love with Hisana, and she is not Hisana.

She is _not_ Hisana.

He did not want to marry another. It was not that he was thinking about the woman's sake, that he would not touch her nor love her. It was because he was not willing to share his bed, share his space, or even his time with any woman he was going to marry. Nobody was ever going to own his heart. Nobody but Hisana.

'_Hisana_,' he thought, and felt the familiar sear of pain he felt almost every night as he laid into his huge, empty bed alone at night. So comfortable, but so devoid of her warmth. _Forever_. Byakuya closed his eyes, as he slowly dropped off into a troubled sleep.

* * *

**Note: This is the first time I'm writing a fanfic, and this is the very first chapter. I've done a couple now and I will upload them soon. I hoped I made this one good enough (the action hasn't really started yet *wink*). Reviews are very much welcomed, as are the feedbacks!! I might need to brush up on my writing and English so I would really love the help and advice. :)  
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	2. I'm not getting Married

"Kuchiki tai-chou is getting _married_!!???" Rangiku Matsumoto exclaimed loudly, causing the front of her robes to bulge outward with their contents even more than usual.

"Maybe I should go for one of those appointed meetings with him," she sighed dreamily, her eyes staring off into space. "He's so good-looking and so so sexy!!!" She let out an immature giggle.

"Well, I doubt he will find _you_ in the same preference you find _him_." Madarame chuckled devilishly, and was rewarded with a smack from the long-haired voluptuous lieutenant.

"It's true, isn't it?" he said indignantly, rubbing the spot on his bald head where Rangiku's hand had landed. "Captain Hitsugaya cannot stand you already and he's a young Byakuya in the making."

"And good-looking too," Matsumoto winked. "What do all handsome guys have against having a good and happy life?"

Both of them burst into laughter, but Rukia kept silent.

"Rukia, what's wrong?" Matsumoto gave her a scrutinizing look.

"Oh, nothing! I was just… it's nothing." Rukia gave her a quick smile.

Yes, her brother was remarrying; he had appointments with all these elegant women almost every evening after his Shinigami duties were over. Rukia wasn't objecting. She knew Byakuya had always loved Hisana, right up till this second. He kept a private room with an altar and her sister's picture in it and she knew he went there frequently.

She had never seen him properly look at any woman before, but then again, he never looked at _anyone_ long enough in attention. So she knew he was probably forced to remarry, and now had little doubt what the meeting that day was about.

'He probably sent me off because he thought I would be furious on my sister's behalf,' Rukia thought.

'He shouldn't have. Because I _understand_.'

* * *

Byakuya righted himself in his position and stifled a yawn. The woman in front of him was demure and quiet, with long flowing black hair. She had not said much since the start of their "date". In fact, all she did was tremble. There, he could see her trembling again. It wasn't _cold_, was it? Byakuya stifled another yawn.

Truth to say, he was very tired from his daily Shinigami duties as a captain, and then coming home to the guest verandah for his evening "dates". But it was what he had promised, in exchange for his grandfather to _not _request Rukia to become his wife. He had seen his grandfather's resigned look when they made the pact.

Byakuya had wondered why he himself made such a reaction. Ginrei would just pop the question to Rukia, and she would be shocked to death but quickly go into the I-am-honoured-but-too-unworthy-for-it routine that she had learned from her years in the Kuchiki household. If Byakuya knew her well, the real Rukia would instantly shout out a very loud 'NO' that would make even the polished tiles on the roof shake. Would she? Or would she be mortified and refuse flat out? Would she be offended? _Would she…_

'Why am I thinking about _this_?' Byakuya put a hand to his head. 'I'm _not _marrying her. So why am I bothered about her reaction? My lack of sleep is definitely affecting my thoughts.'

He looked up at the woman before him, who was staring curiously at him. He had already forgotten her name.

Upon catching his gaze, she quickly lowered her eyes and blushed. "Perhaps Kuchiki tai-chou is tired from his activities," she said what Byakuya thought was her most relevant statement of the day.

"Perhaps a little tea might help," he put in quietly.

The woman reached for the teapot. Heck, even the teapot trembled in her hands.

"I will do it." He reached over, before the expensive tea splashed all over the even more expensive table. He took the teapot, careful not to touch her hands and served them both tea. She sat back down and trembled again.

After the tea, and a few forced starts at conversation, the meeting ended. Byakuya walked to the room at the southern wing, entered and shook his head at an enquiring Ginrei Kuchiki before taking his leave.

* * *

Rukia was feeling restless. She always did, whenever she did not have anything on her hands to do, or when she had something important on her mind. Today, it was _both_. Being one of the unseated officers at the Thirteenth division, this usually meant less outdoor activities (less danger too) and more indoor work. Rukia never liked paperwork, preferring to practice her _kidou_ or train with _Sode no Shirayuki_.

She also had an important thing on her mind, and it was her _brother_. She almost never saw Byakuya these days, since he was so busy in Soul Society and then with his "dates". However, she seemed to have a faint suspicion that he was avoiding her, and she had decided last night that she knew the reason. He probably felt guilty due to all of this matchmaking business, even if it was against his own will, because of her sister. And she knew she probably reminded him of it, just by her face. She had known for some time she looked like Hisana, from the way outsiders commented on her looks, and even the servants.

But today, she was going to make a difference. She was going to give Byakuya her blessing, and perhaps he would realize that she did not object, and neither would her sister. She knew Hisana would not have minded. Byakuya had loved Hisana as much as he could, and he still does. And Rukia knew her sister must have loved him too, though she sometimes wondered how Hisana could have fallen for a block of ice.

* * *

Byakuya sighed a sigh of relief. He did not have any appointments today, so he had the evening free and he could finally take his usual nighttime walk today.

He had been too tired the past couple of days to get out of his bedroom, much less walk around the mansion. He placed his captain _haori_ carefully into the wardrobe and took out a white jacket cover-up which he fastened over the black robes he was already wearing. He was looking forward to the walk tonight.

Byakuya always liked walking at night. It was so quiet and tranquil, he enjoyed the undisturbed peaceful air and the beauty of the night sky, dotted with pinpricks of stars. It allowed him to relax and sort out his messed-up thoughts.

Byakuya swept past the rooms as he walked. The mansion was quiet. His grandfather must be asleep, and so the majority of servants in the household. And _Rukia_.

He had not seen much of her. Byakuya had taken to avoiding her these days. He could not explain the turmoil of emotions he felt when he thought of Rukia, and he knew it must be because of his impending marriage. He knew it must be of the guilt to Hisana, though he would never touch his future wife, whoever she may be, or love her.

"_Nii-sama_."

His eyes widened. Byakya stopped short, and looked to his left, where the voice had come from. The person he was just thinking about, and whom he presumed sleeping, was calling him. She looked right at him, with a sort of firm expression.

"Rukia."

"Nii-sama, off to your usual walk?"

Byakuya nodded, and prepared to sweep past her.

"Can I come with you?"

Byakuya looked back at her, and now she was studying his shoes, as she usually did.

"It's late, Rukia. Get some rest." Byakuya walked past her.

"It will be just a little while." Rukia said, a little too loudly.

Byakuya turned, and saw that firm expression again.

He did not reply and walked on. Rukia, recognising the consent, trotted after him. They walked out into the night air, and Byakuya took a path to the gardens.

'Nii-sama is such a boring man,' Rukia thought as she observed Byakuya. He stopped at certain trees and rocks in the garden and just stared at it for a long time before moving on. He also moved much slowly and deliberately, than his usual brisk speed. Rukia did not know if this was his usual routine or he was intentionally trying to bore her out so she would leave him alone. But she decided to make the first move.

"Nii-sama?"

"Is there something wrong, Rukia?"

"I-" Rukia stopped. She did not know how to begin the conversation without being awkward. "So... so Nii-sama is getting married?"

Byakuya remained silent, turned away from her.

Rukia felt herself panic, but fought on. "Congratulations."

This time, she received a reaction. Byakuya turned to her, his face impassive but his eyes betrayed something. Was it anger? Sadness? "So you offer me congratulations when neither of us knows who my future wife is."

"I- I…" Byakuya turned, ready to move to another spot.

"Nii-sama!!" Rukia exclaimed forcefully.

Byakuya stopped.

"I.. I…well, you _should_. It's alright, with…with me. And…and my sister." Rukia stuttered as she sensed Byakuya turning to look at her. She looked down instead.

"She would have wanted the best for you. And me as well, Nii-sama."

Byakuya did not say a word, but continued looking at her.

Rukia felt herself turning red. "Well, congratulations, Nii-sama. Whoever your wife may be. I know she will make you happy, and you her. I will not disturb your walk anymore. Good night, Nii-sama." Rukia said it all in one breath, bowed and practically ran back to the mansion.

Byakuya watched her go. But his eyes were not the only ones watching the fleeing Rukia.

* * *

"_Rukia_."

Her feet stopped running, as if they were immobilized by an unseen force. Rukia looked up, breathless.

"_Lord Ginrei_." she bowed her head.

Though she referred to Byakuya as Nii-sama, she did not apply the same address to Ginrei Kuchiki, feeling it very terribly strange to call him 'Grandfather'. Ginrei did not question this for as long as she had addressed him as 'Lord'. Now he stood in front of her, smiling.

"Can I have a word with you, Rukia? Preferably in my chambers?"

Rukia nearly did a double take. What was _this_ about?

"Of course, Lord Ginrei." She followed the most important elder of the Kuchiki family up to his wing.

As she sat down, and with Ginrei Kuchiki across her, Rukia tried to grasp what was happening.

"Byakuya had personally and _absolutely_," Ginrei smiled at the word, "forbidden me to tell you _this_."

Rukia felt her heart jump into her throat. Her brother was hiding something from her? What?

"But I cannot hold this back anymore. Not when it concerns my only grandson, whom I love above everything else."

Rukia nodded, holding onto every word.

"Surely you have noticed Byakuya avoiding you ever since the matchmaking began for his marriage?"

Rukia then knew she had to say something. "Lord Ginrei, I absolutely have nothing against this marriage! I understand it is part of Nii-sama's duty and I know my sister will understand. I just told him just now as well!"

She stopped her outburst when Ginrei smiled at her.

"Ah, but that is not why he is avoiding you, Rukia. As you seem to think."

"What? Then what is it, Lord Ginrei?"

"Rukia, we, all the members of the Kuchiki clan, have unanimously agreed that Byakuya should take _you_ in marriage."

Rukia felt like her heart disappeared in that instant. She felt numb and completely disoriented. She would even have sworn her jaw had dropped at Ginrei's statement. This was the worst. She had never experienced shock like this. Not even when she realized Byakuya and Renji had come for her in the human world. Not even when she heard she was given the death sentence for imparting her powers to a common human boy. Not even when she discovered Hisana was her real sister. This was the _worst_.

"_Me_?" Her voice came out totally weak and drained.

Ginrei smiled, and leaned over and actually patted Rukia on her back.

"I understand it might be hard for you at this moment, but I do not force you on this. You will have as much time to think about it, and for the _good_ of it. I doubt Byakuya's shown any preference for the women he's met."

Ginrei smiled at Rukia as if they were enjoying a private joke.

* * *

'But this was no joke,' Rukia thought, as she laid on the bed that night. '_Marry _Byakuya? Her _Nii-sama_?' It was impossible, almost preposterous. _Her sister's husband_. She could not believe it. She was going to have to tell them no.

And yet, Rukia felt a very, very _small _and radical part in her heart wonder: What if I _did_ marry Byakuya? Would I be able to cope being his wife? Would I be _loved_? Would I be able to discover something Hisana saw in Byakuya? Something that made her love him?' Rukia quickly squelched these horribly disloyal (to her sister) thoughts. 'No. I'm not going to marry him. What am I thinking? He's my BROTHER, for heaven's sake!'

What did Byakuya thought of it the first time _he_ heard it? His reaction must have been like hers, maybe even worse. That was probably why he avoided her. Because the idea of them both being life partners disgusted him. Rukia felt a sharp pang hit her at this. 'What is _wrong_ with me? It's completely right for him to refuse. What am I THINKING?'

He wasn't going to marry her.

* * *

**So there you have it...my second chapter to this story. I know this plot's probably been used a million times but I felt it has so so much potential to be explored, so I wanted to try to put my spin on it. Hope you liked it. And again, reviews are very much welcomed. :) **


	3. The decision and the First Night

**I didn't know how to break this part up so I just put it all together, resulting in a very, very long chapter. This chapter is dedicated to my three reviewers (sorry, I'm just plain excited when I get reviews!): Cosmic-Ribbon, NinjaBunnyOverlord, and Eli-san. Thanks guys!!  
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**Hope I made this one good! :)

* * *

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It had been three months since the matchmaking for Byakuya's wife began. Even Matsumoto had lost her energetic vibe about it.

"I wish he would just pick one," she would grumble.

It was _true_, Byakuya was holding up his own pretty much. But it was wearing him down physically and emotionally. He was tired from work, made even more tired from these appointments. He couldn't sleep well, and black circles were starting to show on the pale skin below his eyes.

And yet strangely, he saw Rukia having the _same_ condition as his. They hadn't talked since the encounter in the garden but he saw her being very listless and unfocused in Soul Society.

* * *

Rukia noticed her brother was slowly being leached off his energy day by day because of this. She herself wasn't in the best of conditions. She had spent nights thinking about this, sometimes even not sleeping a wink at all.

_'You will have as much time to think about it, and for the good of it.' _

_The _good_ of it. _

It seemd as if Ginrei had foresaw this. Now, it seemed Byakuya was going to make himself die of exhaustion before he picked a woman to marry.

All because of his love for her sister. Rukia felt her heart ache upon thinking about it.

And as Hisana's blood sister, I have my duty. And _I _will have to put a _stop_ to it.

* * *

Byakuya returned home, and trudged tiredly to the guest verandah.

'This should be sixty-eighth time I am doing this. Or is it the seventy-eighth?' Byakuya did not know, he had long lost count.

Another energy-sapping meeting. Another woman. Another cup of tea. He sighed softly in front of the door and mustered as much energy he could into his expression. Not much. He slid the door open.

The sight before him made his heart miss a beat, before resuming at an accelerated pace.

The orange evening sunrays played across the black hair, making it seem black and then impossibly purple the next second. The wind ruffled the edges of her hair, which brushed the top of the collar of her kimono. She was turned away from the door, looking out at the scenery outside, painting a perfect figure from which the evening rays seem to be emanating from.

Byakuya felt his breath knocked away from him. _Hisana?_

She turned then to face him, and Byakuya hastily swallowed his disappointment and the H that was on the tip of his tongue threatening to slip out.

"Nii-sama."

Byakuya stepped into the verandah. "Rukia. What is the meaning of this?"

Rukia flushed tomato red and quickly looked down. "We…we are supposed to meet."

Byakuya felt a slight panic at her statement. '_What did it mean? Did Grandfather tell her after all? Or did she…did she come of her own accord?_' He looked at her and found the answer in those vulnerable and naïve eyes.

"So Lord Ginrei told you," Byakuya said, taking his seat at the square table. If they were going to sort this out, he preferred sitting.

Rukia nodded, still standing awkwardly to one side.

"Sit." Byakuya motioned opposite him.

Rukia sat down, fumbling a little with her pink silk kimono. Her pink kimono. That was one of the things that had made Byakuya nearly mistaken her for Hisana just now.

Hisana had always loved pink. The colour itself suited Hisana, with her gentleness and innocence. And now Rukia was wearing that exact same shade of colour, with intricate patterns of _sakur_a weaved into the sides. Rukia did not like pink, Byakuya was sure of it.

"I've not seen you wear this before," he spoke, almost with an accusing tone.

He almost expected her to go into a flurry of excuses like all the women he had met before and ramble on about how she loved pink and longed to wear it but never got a chance.

However, Rukia looked up with an apologetic expression. "No. It's new. Lord Ginrei requested me to don it. He did say it would match your preference though. With the _sakura_ and everything."

She fell silent for a while.

"I don't usually wear this, Nii-sama. It restricts my… movement." She laughed a little, and Byakuya felt something stir within him, but he did not know what it was.

"So Lord Ginrei told you. And what did you say?" Byakuya enquired matter-of-factly, trying to keep the curiosity from his voice._ What did she do? She didn't say…yes?_

"Oh." Rukia turned red again. "I…I said I would think about it."

Byakuya nodded, but did not say anything.

_Is that why you were avoiding me, Nii-sama?_

_What are you doing here then? What do you want, Rukia?_

Silence descended over the verandah, as nothing more was said.

Rukia tried to look somewhere else rather than her Nii-sama, as it was so horribly awkward. She focused on the beautiful teaset before her, and almost leapt up as she remembered.

"OHH!!"

"We…we should drink the tea," she amended quietly as her brother looked at her.

Byakuya nearly snorted. Rukia quickly bent over the teaset.

Her hands did not tremble. She served the tea with quick precision, her firm hands bearing no sign of hesitation. She poured the tea into two cups and placed one over to Byakuya's side, keeping the other to hers. She did not meet Byakuya's eyes.

Byakuya took the teacup and lifted it to his lips.

"Nii-sama, I have made my decision. I will marry you."

_I will marry you._

It sounded so excruciating to Rukia as the minute the words escaped her tongue.

Byakuya raised his eyebrows. "Do not be so lofty with words, Rukia. Whoever said I was going to marry _you_?"

"Nii-sama, you are of course free to choose. I am merely implying that I'm ready, should you..." Rukia trailed off, feeling humiliated at herself. 'What was _she_? A replac-'

"You're not a _replacement_, Rukia."

Rukia's head shot up, her eyes wide. '_He couldn't have known what I was-_'

Byakuya stared straight at her, and for the first time, Rukia saw his eyes were a sort of ash grey, a misty grey.

"I appreciate this, Rukia. But we-"

Feeling a little braver, Rukia fought on. "Nii-sama, you're tiring yourself out. Let's just end this. Your grandfather, and the entire clan will be happy. We're going to get married, and nothing's going to change. Besides the terms of calling in public. And… and sharing a room."

Byakuya looked at the blushing red girl in front of him and started to think. _'Could it really work?_'

"It is your obligation in the Kuchiki household, Nii-sama. As is mine," Rukia said, gripping the teacup a bit harder, as it was the only way to stop her hand trembling.

"You will never be able to have a _true _marriage, once you agree to this." Byakuya carefully tested the waters.

Rukia did not rise to the bait. "Nobody would marry _me_ anyway," she said, laughing slightly. Byakuya suddenly had a slight vision of a red-haired idiot and an orange-haired dork, both of whom might be more than wiling to.

"Rukia," he said, in a serious tone.

Rukia's voice softened, as did her eyes. "Nii-sama, I've decided. It will be fine. We will get through this. And then things will go back to the way they were."

* * *

The entire Soul Society was abuzz that week. Byakuya had finally chosen a wife, and it was his late wife's sister, Kuchiki Rukia. They were getting married today. Almost everyone was talking about it.

Then again, everyone knew Rukia was a splitting image of Hisana so the negativity was toned down. So instead of the outrage Byakuya thought it would generate, he was instead being congratulated and received blessings and beamed smiles everywhere he went. Except from certain people in the Shinigami. Renji would not even look at him, let alone talk to him. Some of the Shinigamis were shocked, especially those of the Thirteenth Division, Rukia's division. But overall everyone was excited, except him.

He was… _scared_. He did not know why he felt this way. Was it because of the impending marriage ceremony? Probably. He also did not know how he was going to spend his life with Rukia, even if they were only going to be a couple on the outside. Sure, she had assured him things would stay the same but _would _it? He was going to share his personal space with her. She was going to be in his room at night, in _his_ bed when he slept (even if they were not going to touch each other).

'Of course it would!,' he thought, fastening his white wedding kimono securely. 'Nothing's going to change. Nothing's going to, unless one of us wants it to. And both of us do _not_.'

He adjusted his _kenseikan_ and looked at his reflection. No imperfections.

'_Get this over with_.'

* * *

Rukia looked into the mirror, and clasped her cold hands together. She was so nervous and scared, but she could not let anyone see her like this. After all, she had made the decision. And now she was going to follow it through.

She touched her face, glad that they had powdered it so the paleness wouldn't show through. What sort of bride did not blush on her wedding day? She looked at her expensive flowing white bridal kimono. It really did restrict her movements. She never liked kimonos. On top of that, she had a bridal headpiece on her head. Everyone told her she looked very pretty, but she only felt heavy. Her heart was heavier.

'_I can do this.'_

_

* * *

  
_

The handmaidens helped Rukia mount the steps to the shrine ('_This kimono really does nothing for movement..._') and soon she was entering the sacred hall. She could see her Nii-sama ('_was it Nii-sama anymore?'_) in front of her in white. She had not seen him properly. She had been told to look down all the way into the shrine and as they had approached the shrine, the handmaiden had whispered that Lord Byakuya had joined them. Rukia then had risked a glance upwards and saw a white-robed, broad-shouldered figure step into the front of their procession.

When they entered the shrine, everyone rose in respect. Nearly all the captains were present. Rukia could see Captain Ukitake among them, flanked by Sentaro Kotsubaki and Kiyone Kotetsu.

She remembered the response he had given her after Rukia had informed him of her decision.

"Are you sure about this?" He had looked so concerned. When she had assured him of her choice, he had asked "What about Ichigo Kurosaki?"

_Ichigo_.

Rukia did not know.

_What about him_? Was her captain implying both of them had something _romantic_? Come to think of it, Rukia wasn't so sure about that herself. They had definitely been very close to each other. She knew Ichigo understood her, that was for sure, and she him. They would do anything for each other. But that was as far as it went. Ichigo was just a schoolboy, and Rukia wasn't exactly young. She did not know. She really did not. It was a grey territory there, neither black nor white.

So _now_ she was getting married, and that was all there was to it.

They approached the front of the shrine where the priest was standing. The handmaidens and servants withdrew, leaving both of them ('_really exposed_,' thought Rukia) there. Byakuya turned to her, and for the first time Rukia saw her future husband close-up.

He looked handsome, as always. But today, _all _the good things about the way Kuchiki Byakuya looked were accentuated ten-fold. The white kimono was embroidered with subtle flowers, and tiny golden clasps held the front of his robes. The white of his clothing perfectly matched his white _kenseikan_ that held his black hair in place. He was not wearing his usual white scarf today, and the absence of it made his shoulders look broader and his height more pronounced.

* * *

As Byakuya looked at her, he felt his heart threatening to beat its way out of his body. He hadn't bothered observing Rukia properly outside the shrine just now. He thought she would just be wearing a white kimono and that would be it. But now, as he stood opposite her, she looked so beautiful his breath was knocked right out of him. It also hurt, as he looked into her face, and it was again the face of the one Byakuya had wedded, the one who made him smile proudly at the altar despite whispered gossips, the one whom he loved. The one whom he had _lost_.

And Rukia had chose to look very pretty today, of _all _days. He knew Rukia was definitely pretty, but she often opted for the standard Shinigami robes rather than the usual kimonos the maids were always trying to coax her into. But today, it was different. The skin on her arms were radiant, partially covered by the sleeves of her white kimono. The kimono was apparently made from the most expensive silk money (and the Kuchiki household) could buy, and it softly flowed about her, softening Rukia's appearance. It was embroided with beautiful gold _sakura_ patterns, Byakuya noted. Rukia and _sakura_ looked good together.

When both of them heard the priest clear his throat formally, Byakuya remembered the next step of their ritual. Rukia had practised this ritual twenty times before but suddenly she was at a loss.

'_Oh my God! What am I supposed to do next?'_

She saw Byakuya's right shoulder move slightly, and then saw his outstretched hand.

'_Oh, right.'_

She quickly put her hand into his, before both of them turned to the priest.

'_Oh my gosh! He's going to realize my hand is cold! He's going to know I'm so scared!'_

Byakuya held Rukia's hand in his. This was the first time he ever held her hand. Her small hand was so cold.

'_So she is afraid_,' Byakuya realized. _'She's _not_ ready, despite everything she's said. She's practically terrified of this marriage_.'

And he did the only thing he thought of at the moment. With the slightest hint of movement so no one would notice, he moved his thumb over her fingers and used the rest of his fingers to give her hand a subtle squeeze.

* * *

When Rukia felt Byakuya squeeze her hand slightly, she almost gasped in surprise. But as the initial shock passed, a new feeling settled over. She felt… _safe._ Byakuya had never sent a signal to her like that, he had never even touched her hand before. And now he had squeezed her hand in a sort of comforting notion. She was not alone. Byakuya was in it with her, and he was going to help them both through it. She…_liked_ it.

She chanced a sideways look at him. He was not looking at her, his attention focused on the priest. She felt a little more courage and stood a little straighter.

After the priest had finished the proceedings, they both turned to each other again. Rukia remembered the ritual this time. A maid came forth bearing a silver plate on which three cups of _sake_ sat.

_The exchanging of the nuptial wine cups. _

Rukia took a small breath in, as Byakuya slowly lifted the first cup from the tray. He sipped from it then returned the cup to the plate. Rukia dutifully retrieved the cup from its spot and lifted it to her lips. As she sipped the _sake_, she felt Byakuya's eyes burning into her. She could not resist. With the cup still on her lips, she lifted her eyes and looked right at Byakuya.

* * *

Byakuya watched her. Watched her as she turned to him with a relieved expression. Saw her take a small breath, but beautifully so. He had carefully avoided her eyes while drinking the _sake_, but as she took her turn, he thought he was free to look at her again. He watched her gently lift the cup and bring it to her lips. Her lips were the only ones with colour in her face at the moment. The softest pink in a small, pale face. His eyes travelled up her face, and met her own.

_She's looking at me._ _Right at me_.

As Byakuya looked into those violet eyes, he felt something move within him that he did not want to identify. He looked away.

After the initial sip, they did it for another two times. Then they repeated the entire procedure for the other two cups. Three cups in total. Heaven, earth and humankind. Two souls bound in matrimony.

Then it was time for Byakuya, as the head of the royal Kuchiki family to entreat the guests to the finest of feasts in the grand hall of the Kuchiki mansion. Rukia was helped to Byakuya's bedroom, to await her husband.

* * *

_Byakuya's bedroom_.

Rukia nervously played with the sleeves of her kimono. She was in Byakuya's bedroom, _alone_. She knew the feast would be over by now, and Byakuya was probably sending the last of the guests, with his stiff and formal greetings. She should compose herself and appear unaffected for when he returned.

But right now, she was feeling waves of fear and panic wash over her. She looked over at the enormous bed against the wall, and felt a larger wave wash over her.

_Byakuya's bed_.

'Am I really going to share a bed with him?'

She walked to the window and tried to stop herself trembling by looking at the moon.

All too soon, she heard quick, sure footsteps outside the room that was unmistakeably Byakuya's. They stopped a moment outside the room, before the doors slid open. Byakuya strode in, and Rukia quickly removed herself from her position by the window.

* * *

He remembered entering their wedding chamber that night. Hisana had looked so sweet in her white bridal kimono, as she rose up from the bed with a shy yet apologetic smile. She knew the sacrifice Byakuya had made to ensure they could be together and she knew how big it was. She had walked to Byakuya and offered to remove his ceremonial robes with a quiet apology ('_she was so full of apologies her whole life_'). And Byakuya had taken her into his arms right then and softly kissed her words away. Their first kiss, on their wedding night.

Byakuya shook himself. The first thing he had seen was Rukia staring out the window wistfully, the moonlight bathing her in a circle of white. Her skin had glowed, and it served more prominence to her black-purple hair and eyes. It was an ethereal vision to Byakuya, who gripped his hands at his side, and entered the room quietly before closing the door.

Rukia went up to him, but stopped an awkward distance away.

"Nii-" she started but stopped, closing her mouth quickly.

Byakuya stopped at the wardrobe, and turned back to her. "Perhaps _Byakuya-sama_ might serve a better term even between us, in case you let slip in public."

As Rukia nodded, he rummaged in the wardrobe for something.

"I think it's time we retired for the day, Rukia," his deep voice continued.

_Retire_? Rukia felt another flutter of panic.

"Yes. Byakuya-sama." It felt so, so weird saying it.

And even more weird as she walked over to the bed and sat on it. She watched as Byakuya extracted black sleeping robes from the wardrobe and slung them over the chair next to the wardrobe. His hands moved quickly to the gold clasps holding his white kimono together and he undid them effortlessly, despite the complexity of the design. As she continued watching, he started to shrug out of the robe.

'_He's undressing. Oh my gosh! I can't-'_

Rukia gasped when she saw the bare skin on his shoulder.

* * *

Byakuya heard the tiny gasp that escaped from Rukia, and it brought his awareness to her presence. He had been so lost in thought, all he wanted to do was get into his pyjamas and get to bed. He had completely forgotten Rukia was sitting on _his_ bed, watching him.

Swiftly, he caught the kimono before it slid off his shoulder and picked up his sleeping robes.

* * *

Rukia watched as Byakuya walked off to the bathroom, his robes in his hands. The second she had gasped, the bare spot of skin had disappeared and Byakuya was already halfway across the room, gone to change in the bathroom.

'_Why did she have to gasp?'_ But she had never seen him naked, or even half-naked before. And she doubted anyone ever did, except Hisana. He probably thought she was completely immature. After all, it was she who had made the decision and told him it was going to be okay._ Why was she the one making all the fuss now?_

When Byakuya came out in his black robes, she adjusted her sitting position on the bed. He did not glance at her as he folded the kimono and put it neatly on the chair. Then he turned to her.

"You are not changing?"

_Change_? _Changing clothes?_ No, she wasn't going to change. Not in front of Byakuya!

Rukia shook her head, "I think I will sleep in these."

Byakuya said nothing, and went over to the side of the bed, the side not occupied by Rukia.

She felt a weight settle into the bed, and turned around timidly to look at him. He was slowly removing his _kenseikan_ from his hair. His long fingers gracefully handled the hairpiece as he pulled it through strands of black hair. The _kenseikan _went onto the bedside table as Byakuya slid into the covers.

Rukia could not help staring at him. She had never seen him without his _kenseikan_ on. Strands of black hair now hung low over his left eye, and additional strands brushed the robes on his shoulder, making him look a little disheveled, but so very handsome. He looked…looked like a _normal _man. Not the stiff, formal Shinigami captain Rukia often saw. Realizing that she was gaping at him, Rukia quickly turned back, a blush coloring her cheeks.

"Rukia."

She slowly turned to face Byakuya, who was already sitting up, with half his body under the covers.

"It's alright. We made it through, and it has been a long day. Sleep now."

She nodded shakily and slipped her feet into the covers. She looked at Byakuya. He was still staring at her expectantly.

_What?_

She timidly lowered her head onto the pillow, effectively lying down for real on Byakuya's bed. He looked away, and blew out the lamp on the bedside table near him. He settled himself carefully next to Rukia, not touching her.

It was strange. _So strange_. Rukia had never shared a bed with a man. True, she slept in Ichigo's room, but she had put up in his cupboard, where the darkness and space was all hers. But now, she could feel Byakuya's form right next to her, even though both of them had positioned themselves almost at the edge of the bed on each side, leaving a substantial amount of space in the center. She felt her heart beating fast, and she prayed Byakuya would not be able to sense her condition.

_So close…

* * *

_

Byakuya closed his eyes, and tried to sleep. But he knew Rukia was scared, even more scared than she was at the altar. That much was obvious from the stiffness he could sense from her body next to his.

Byakuya opened his eyes and turned to her. Her eyes was fixed on the ceiling and her hands pressed together at her bosom. _Not good_. Upon sensing his gaze, she quickly turned to him, her fearful eyes betraying her emotion.

'_This girl, she wears her heart on her sleeves._'

"It's alright now, Rukia. Sleep. Nothing is going to happen. Nothing is going to _change_." He stressed the last word for her benefit, and then turned away and closed his eyes.

Rukia felt relief washing over her at Byakuya's words. It was exactly the same at the altar, him calming her down. Following suit, she closed her eyes and dropped off to sleep immediately.

* * *

**Okay, that's it for now. I hope I did this chapter right, because there was just so much to write and I'm not really knowledgeable on Japanese weddings so anyone who could correct my mistakes on that would be really appreciated. I wiki-ed it though so I think I probably got the rough idea of the wedding anyway, and the san-san-ku-do wine ceremony I did a little bit more in-depth research on that...**

**I hope the flow is good enough...coz I had to do it from Byakuya's point then Rukia's...so I hoped it was smooth enough for you to enjoy reading. **

**Reviews and feedbacks are really welcomed! Because this was a little tough for me to write, so I would like to know what you think about it. :)**


	4. Cooking

**This chapter is going to stand on its own here...even though it's rather short...because the next chapter is going to be rather long and I didn't want this small one to stick to it...I hope you enjoy this one though it's rather short and plain :)**

* * *

"Rukia-san!" Rukia looked up.

"Hanatarou! I haven't seen you in a while! How are you?"

"I'm good. Kuchiki-san. I hope you are well, with you being a new bride and all." Yamada Hanatarou scratched his head and smiled at her.

Rukia smiled back.

"Where are you going, Kuchiki-san?"

"I'm going back home."

"So early?"

"Ahh…yes. My duties have changed somewhat. I go back earlier now."

Hanatarou nodded, understanding. "As Kuchiki tai-chou's wife."

Rukia blushed, and nodded. It had been a week since her life and Byakuya's had been joined in matrimony. It was strange, but not overly. Byakuya treated her much the same as before, except for the bed and room-sharing. It was just the same as her previous life, except that she now had a male roommate in a one-bed room who did not talk much and made her uncomfortable at night. Even the nights were getting less strange, and increasingly normal. She could now get into bed without being totally hyper-aware of Byakuya next to her. It was like her body was slowly tuning itself to Byakuya's presence.

She rarely shrank back from him now, and she found him less intimidating than before. Maybe it was because she saw things about him people usually didn't have the chance (or privilege) to see. She also began to learn new things about him, things she did not know previously. He kept Senbonzakura in a special carved open case placed in the room, when sleeping. He kept a wet cloth in the bathroom which he used first thing early in the morning on his face. When he woke up, he would seem a bit groggy and unfocused with his hair falling a certain way over the side of his face. And he used soap that smelled unmistakeably like cherry blossoms.

Starting the first week of their marriage, they had been working out a schedule on how they were going to appear like a couple. To her dismay, Rukia was even given lesser hours of duties as a Shinigami. Ginrei expected her to act like a wife, so Byakuya had decided she was going to act like one. Which meant all the things Rukia did not like doing. Like sewing and going about the house.

Today was going to be even more impossible – _cooking_. Rukia knew how to cook, from her years in the Rukongai. But those were scavenged food, and they were usually done on a stick over a fire. She did not think _that_ was the way it was done in the Kuchiki household. Something was going to be grilled tonight, and she did not think it was the food.

* * *

"My Lords, it's dinner-time," the servants made their usual announcements. Ginrei made his way to the dining room. A door closed far off and the usual swish of robes swept the wood as Byakuya followed in the wake of his grandfather's footsteps.

The servants were busy laying out dish after dish on the huge dining table. Rukia stood uncomfortably to one side, wondering why the cooks always prepared so much food when it was just three people eating.

She stared at one particular dish and felt herself shudder. That was _hers_. She had spent hours tearing her hair out over it. _Prawns cooked in spicy sauce_. She had no idea how to mix the sauce in the right amount or how to marinate the prawns properly. She did not know how long it took to cook the prawns, and she did not know when was the right time to put in the sauce. The servants had helped with cleaning the prawns but they had left her to her own devices when it came to making the dish.

Rukia had dipped her wooden spoon into the dish just before it was brought out. She had almost choked on her own cooking. If she had closed her eyes, she would have guessed anything but prawns in spicy sauce. She wouldn't even know it was prawns. It was _that_ terrible, and she could only pray the two Kuchikis did not notice that one dish as she had cooked it of a small portion. She had also strategically placed her cooking results on a plain white ceramic plate to not attract attention.

The three of them took their seats, Rukia sitting next to Byakuya. A servant smiled at Rukia encouragingly and whispered into Ginrei Kuchiki's ear. Rukia felt her heart seize. _What?_

"Rukia made this on her own?" Ginrei asked, pointing to the dish of prawns as the servant nodded. "She said Byakuya liked spicy food so she decided to try to cook something of such nature."

"Come, Byakuya, we must sample this."

Rukia's eyes widened. _Oh no_.

Byakuya spared her a glance before taking hold of his chopsticks and reaching for a single shrimp. It took all of Rukia's self control not to get up and knock the chopsticks out of his hand.

He chewed slowly on the food. If Rukia had not been observing him so hard, she would never have noticed the tiny twitch in his expression.

'_It's no good_,' she thought, panicked.

Byakuya swallowed, and gave Rukia a look. '_Oh no oh no oh no_.'

Byakuya turned to Ginrei. "Grandfather, I must beg your pardon. But can I have this dish?"

Ginrei's face broke into a happy smile. "Please, Byakuya." He motioned to the dish.

Byakuya reached out one long arm and pulled the plate towards him.

'_Away from Ginrei's tasting_,' Rukia knew. Away from _danger_.

She bowed her head in defeat.

* * *

In the bedroom, Rukia had changed into sleeping clothes and was feeling completely useless. Byakuya had to come through for her again. He had finished the dish she cooked, much to Ginrei's joy and Rukia's dismay. She knew it probably tortured his tongue all the way. Byakuya was used to culinary dishes whipped up by the maestros in the Kuchiki kitchen. Rukia could not compare to them. She felt useless to Byakuya. She did not like this.

When the doors slid open, she wanted to the ground to open up and swallow her whole. She was so embarrassed. Byakuya was going to be the first and last person to taste her cooking. She was never going to cook. She waited quietly as Byakuya changed into his sleeping clothes. After he was done, he did not say a word and got into bed.

Rukia could not take it. "Nii-" she began, before gasping and closing her mouth.

"What did you call me?" Byakuya asked easily, shaking out the covers.

"Byakuya-sama."

"Rukia."

"I-"

Byakuya stared at her, and Rukia blushed.

"You shouldn't have eaten it, if it tasted horrible!" she blurted out, her voice laced with a tinge of anger. She was angry, angry at her lack of usefulness and at Byakuya for making her feel that way.

"If it had been inedible, do you think I could have _ate_ it?"

"I-" Rukia tried to get the right words, but failed. Byakuya always said things that were unbeatable, things that you could not respond to. He always seemed to have the last say. Rukia could not fight him.

She crawled into bed, feeling utterly miserable and helpless. Byakuya blew out the lamp.

* * *

**LOL...and there goes Rukia's cooking record...I'm updating like mad now...because I'm hoping to do all this before July when my holidays end and I have to begin my fourth year of studies. This chapter is a pretty short one but if you've any comments you would like to make, feedbacks...I would welcome it. I didn't focus on their first day as a married couple coz I didn't have ideas there..so I chose to focus on the coming weeks instead. :) Reviews welcomed!**


	5. Being a couple

**Here it is...the next chapter!! It's my current favourite so far out of the ones I'm writing now. Actually, I had finished the next chapter and this chapter wasn't going to exist, but I had a sudden inspiration halfway through so I decided to incorporate it here. Spontaneous writing..lol..hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. :)**

* * *

Ginrei was apparently very pleased with Byakuya and Rukia's "performance". He often smiled at them proudly whenever he bumped into them walking together. Today, he was again smiling again as they sat down to lunch. It was the weekend, and both Byakuya and Rukia had the whole day ahead of them, free.

"Byakuya, how about taking Rukia out for the festivities today?"

Byakuya looked up in surprise. "Grandfather, I wasn't aware there were any. What celebration is it?"

Ginrei drank slowly from his spoon. "Well, of course you wouldn't. It's held outside of _Seireitei_, in the districts. As for the festival, I have absolutely no idea what it is about. But I think Rukia would be interested, wouldn't she?"

Byakuya started to say no, but Ginrei had already turned to Rukia, whose excitement had shone through her face.

"I- Well, it's up to Byakuya-sama."

"I was thinking of doing some calligraphy up in the study this afternoon." Byakuya said.

"Well, how about calligraphy in the afternoon, then both of you can have some fresh air out by enjoying the festivities in the evening," Ginrei said, sounding as if it was a done deal.

Byakuya turned to Rukia.

"Would you like to learn?"

"I- er.."

The truthful answer would be _no_. She hated sitting long hours in a room, doing reports. Sitting in the room, and making the right strokes with a brush, with just the right amount of strength and grace to produce a single word. Calligraphy was going _kill _her. But she longed to be out in the Rukongai, where she rarely had the chance to be.

"I would like that."

* * *

Rukia sat uncomfortably in her seat, with Byakuya a few tables away, at his own personal desk. He had allowed her to watch him for a few minutes, before he had proceeded to give her a lecture on calligraphy in a monotonous tone. Rukia wasn't listening. She was full from lunch, and the study was perfectly warm and cozy. And Byakuya's voice droned on and on, lulling her to sleep…

'Wake up!' She shook herself. She was looking forward to the festivities this evening, and falling asleep right in front of Byakuya wasn't going to help her earn points for the trip. Thankfully, he stopped soon after and waved her to a seat with paper and ink. He then sat down at his own seat, and began working his blank paper into a masterpiece with his expert brush strokes.

Rukia looked down at her paper. Since he was doing his own work, he wasn't going to bother _hers_, would he? Yes, he probably wasn't going to. He was going to sit there and whip up tens of thousands of papers and waste more ink. She bent over her paper and started writing.

After two hours, Rukia heard a chair scrape against the floor. She looked up at Byakuya. _Not good_, he was looking right at her. She tried to bent over her calligraphy as best as she could, but it wasn't much. She was too small.

_Oh no_…

* * *

Byakuya walked over to Rukia. He saw her stiffen, trying but failing miserably to hide her paper from him. He looked over her shoulder at her work. Looked right at it.

The laughter quickly bubbled up within him and before he could stop it, spilled out from his lips.

* * *

Rukia was so nervous as Byakuya approached.

'He's going to see it! He's going to see my calligraphy, it's horrible!'

She felt the same she had when Byakuya was about to taste her cooking. Why did he like to see her doing things she had a tendency to fall flat on her face at?

He stopped right behind her seat. A moment of silence.

Then Rukia heard the most amazing sound in the world. She heard him _laugh_. Byakuya laughed. _Byakuya_. The captain who was labelled as "The Icy One", the one who did not smile let alone laugh at any time, any moment. He was _laughing_. His deep voice vibrated, almost melodious in the quiet of the study. Rukia had never heard Byakuya laugh. It was…_refreshing_.

Her indignance overwhelmed her surprise as she realized he was laughing at her work. "Why are you laughing? It's not _that _bad?"

Byakuya had hurriedly composed his expression into the serious one he usually carried, but his eyes still twinkled a little.

"No, it isn't. You just need… more _practice_." His eyes still twinkled, and Rukia felt like he was joking with her.

She had never seen Byakuya like this. His eyes, almost like they were smiling, softened his appearance so much. He looked much younger, and like he had actually lived a life not made entirely from rules and principles, which Rukia often doubted he did. Like he actually had… _feelings_.

He walked back to his table. "I believe you can put down your brush now. We can continue this some other time." Rukia nodded, and hastily dropped the brush.

"I think you should change."

Rukia held her breath.

"Before we go out."

Rukia felt like cheering. Felt like jumping up and down around Byakuya. But she can't. Trying to suppress her excitement, she bowed and quickly went out of the study.

When Rukia had closed the door behind her, Byakuya looked back at her calligraphy.

It _was_ bad. Actually, it was _horrible_. When Byakuya was still a young boy, he could have written much better than that. Her strokes were lopsided and lacked so much grace it hurt Byakuya's eyes just to look at it. And yet, he continued to look. Somehow, he could perfectly visualize her personality by her calligraphy. The brashness. The blunt honesty. The untamed spirit. It was so…so _Rukia_.

The laughter threatened to overwhelm him again. He allowed a small chuckle, as he picked up the paper. He should throw this away, it really _was_ embarassing. Instead, his hands opened the drawer where he kept his most important Shinigami reports and tuck the paper out of sight.

* * *

Rukia was already waiting for him when he arrived at the hall. She had changed into a pale purple kimono he knew she must detest. But her eyes were bright, and she was practically jumping on the balls of her feet. She looked like a kid.

'Were festivities _that _much fun?' Byakuya found himself wondering.

* * *

As they walked along the district streets, Byakuya felt alienated. They had just left the safety and familiarity of _Seireitei_. But Rukia was completely at ease. She turned left and right, taking in the sights and sounds of the crowd. And it was indeed a _huge _crowd. It seemed like the entire district was out on the streets today. Lanterns hung low around the roofs of houses, and lights blazed in shops as their respective owners shouted bargains to passerbys.

Trinkets, flowers, fans, candies…as they passed shop from shop, Byakuya began noticing something strange.

Was the entire street made up from _couples_? He watched carefully, his trained eye picking out the people in the crowd. Yes, he was sure of it. A boy and a girl. A man and a woman. Another boy and girl.

"I didn't know they had festivities like Valentine's Day here in Soul Society," Rukia commented. Byakuya looked down at her. She was watching the countless couples passing them as well.

"Valentine's Day?" Byakuya had not heard that term before. What was it?

"Oh," Rukia turned up to look at Byakuya. "It's something they celebrate down in the human world. Ichigo told me about it." She walked to keep along with Byakuya's long strides as she continued talking. "It's a day where couples celebrate their…" she paused, looking at a girl hanging intimately to her partner's arm. "…_love_. They exchange gifts, though it's usually the guy who gives the girl something. That's Valentine's Day."

Byakuya looked at Rukia as she went on explaining. Was he imagining it? She was not afraid of him _at all_. In fact, she was completely at ease with him. Usually she shrank back from his presence, and did not dare look directly at him. But today, she was keeping close to him as they walked, her eyes earnestly focused on him as she talked.

He found it a bit offending that she could look him straight in the eye while she talked, when no one else could. Even Hisana did not talk to him like that, preferring to bow her head while doing so. But as he looked and listened to Rukia, he gradually warmed to it. He had never had someone talk to him like that. Like he was… an _equal_. Like he was worth sharing ideas with, sharing feelings with.

It was… something _new_.

"A day for couples?" Byakuya enquired.

Rukia nodded, then blushed. She dropped her gaze and studied the pavement.

"I did not know that."

But he suspected his grandfather probably knew it full well.

_As for the festival, I have absolutely no idea what it is about._

Byakuya shook his head. He should have known. His grandfather was growing more and more cunning as he got older. And now they were in an awkward position. He turned to Rukia to suggest heading back. '_No_,' he realized. They weren't awkward. At least, not Rukia. She was enjoying herself.

"Do you want something?" Byakuya asked, as they passed shops and more shops. She had stopped at some of the shops, looking here and there. He realized she loved looking at small and (to Byakuya) silly things. Like toys and trinkets.

Now, she had run off again, and Byakuya had to walk a little faster to catch her up. She stopped in front of a shop and admired whatever it was Byakuya did not know on the display.

"Sir, one for your pretty lady?" The wizened shopkeeper smiled at Byakuya.

Byakuya looked down at Rukia, who had turned red.

He started to take out his money as Rukia turned and gasped.

Byakuya turned to follow her gaze, but she had already left the store. '_Not again, he was going to have to catch_…

"Come, Byakuya!" In her impatience, Rukia reached out and took hold of Byakuya's hand. She pulled him along with her into the crowd.

* * *

Byakuya sucked in his breath. Rukia was holding his hand. And she did it as if it was the most natural thing in the world. He did not think she even realized it. Her hand felt small and warm around his, as she guided him to wherever it was she wanted to go. She had also called him Byakuya. Just Byakuya. Without any honorifics. Part of him wanted to patronize her for calling him that way. Another part wanted something else. Nobody called him Byakuya except his grandfather. Absolutely nobody.

_She's really_…

Rukia stopped abruptly, and Byakuya nearly banged into her. Something seemed to be very glaringly bright up front. It was as if the sun had fallen right on the spot in front of them. As Byakuya's eyes adjusted to the light, he saw it.

_Lanterns_. So many of them. Strung across on wires, hanging by hooks, placed on tables, sitting on the ground. Paper lanterns, granite pedestal lanterns like the ones he had in his garden, wooden lanterns, table lanterns. So many. Together, the light from them were almost blinding.

"Byakuya, look!" Rukia pointed and as she did, she realized she was holding his hand. And the fact that she had not used his name properly. She quickly dropped his hand, blushing furiously. "Bya- Byakuya-sama." She amended quickly.

Byakuya looked back at her, then at the direction she had pointed in. He saw the big and beautiful Japanese paper lantern, hanging in the center of the stage.

"Crafted by the best of craftsmen found in the whole of Soul Society!!" An excited man was gesturing at it happily. "The paintings on it," he pointed at the delicate drawings of plum flowers and birds on the lantern, "are also of the best artists found anywhere!"

"And today, this lantern is going to be given, absolutely _free_, to a very lucky couple!!" A cheer went up in the crowd.

"To be specific, to the luckiest girl who possesses the man who knows the value of art and words!" The host was practically exploding on stage, like a firecracker.

Then the man stepped back, and revealed a row of tables, with ink brushes and paper on them.

Rukia was painfully reminded of her calligraphy fiasco and she chanced an embarassed look at Byakuya. But he wasn't looking at her. His gaze was fixed on the lantern.

"You wanted that, Rukia?"

"Bya-"

Before she could reply, Byakuya was gone from her side. He had joined the small group of men who had assembled at the tables.

* * *

All the girls started cheering for their respective partners. Rukia wanted to open her mouth, but her lips seemed glued together. The only thing she could do was to clasp her hands together tightly and fidget with the cloth of her kimono.

The moment the bell tinkled, the men grabbed their brushes and started feverishly writing on the paper. Byakuya stayed where he was, not doing anything. He seemed to be observing the paper, seemed to be pondering something. Then he looked up at Rukia, who was standing in the crowd and staring straight at him.

Their eyes met for a moment, before he moved. He carefully picked up the brush and gracefully stroked across the paper.

* * *

"Oh my gosh! Is that _Kuchiki tai-chou_?? He's competing in a calligraphy contest!!" Matsumoto wore a disbelieved expression. "_Gambateh, Kuchiki tai-chou_!!!" she shouted, but the crowd was too dense and loud for her voice to carry through.

"Stop it, Matsumoto. You're embarassing me." Hitsugaya muttered sullenly. He wondered why was he standing right here, when he could be sleeping. Apparently, his lieutenant didn't want to miss out on the celebrations and nobody wanted to accompany her ('and I wonder _why_,' Hitsugaya thought sarcastically) so he got dragged along. And he was supposed to be _the_ Tai-chou.

He was already in a bad mood. Someone just now had remarked on them, wondering loudly what a mother was doing with her child in the crowd. Hitsugaya had just stepped back and let a deadly furious Matsumoto deal with the unlucky bigmouth.

"Tai-chou, can you see? That's Kuchiki Rukia there! So they were out together!! So romantic!!" Matsumoto pointed out excitedly.

Hitsugaya had seen Rukia too. "Let's go, Matsumoto. It's their own business. Leave them be."

Matsumoto protested but had to follow her white-haired prodigy Captain away.

"Tai-chou, so you seem to understand love as well."

"_Shut up_."

* * *

Byakuya put the brush down delicately on its holder, as the bell tinkled. He stepped back from the table. No one seemed to comment on his _kenseikan_, which symbolized the nobility running in his blood, and the must for a talent in calligraphy. Even the host seemed to be gaping at his calligraphy.

"And the clear, clear winner…"

Byakuya looked at the paper lantern that had grabbed Rukia's attention from afar as the host came over and offered it to him. "This talented sir, and his lucky woman!!"

Byakuya silently took the lantern without a word and walked back. He did not look at the still-gaping host. He did not look at the crowd cheering at him. He looked straight at Rukia and stopped in front of her.

"You wanted _this_, Rukia."

* * *

Rukia looked at the beautiful yellow paper lantern in Byakuya's hand. The paintings of the birds and plum flowers were certainly exquisite. And Byakuya had gotten it just for her.

She looked up at him, as she took the lantern slowly from his hand.

"Thank you, Byakuya-sama."

He nodded, before walking on.

Rukia followed him, clutching the precious lantern.

* * *

Rukia was struggling. She was out of breath, and it was nearly time for dinner. She had to get it up. But she just can't seem to reach…

The door slid open. Rukia gasped. She was directly in front of the bedroom, with her arms lifted high above her head, standing on tiptoes, trying to hang the lantern in front of the door. She had decided this was the best spot to hang the lantern, where it would look really lovely.

And now, she stared back in this unladylike pose at a bemused Byakuya.

He stepped out of the room, and closed the door.

"What are you doing?" His eyes moved to the lantern and he answered his own question with another one.

"You wanted to hang the lantern here?"

"I-Yes." Was he going to scold her for behaving like a child all day?

"Hand it to me, Rukia."

Rukia obediently lowered the lantern down and gave it to Byakuya.

Taking the lantern, he reached up easily with his height and secured the lantern in front of their bedroom door.

"Let's go down to dinner. It's almost time."

They left the beautiful lantern hanging there, glowing softly in the hallway.

* * *

Byakuya opened his eyes. It was still dark out. What time was it? It seemed like it was still night, no birds were chirping. Byakuya got out of bed, and went to the bathroom.

When he got back, he lifted the covers and got into bed. Unwittingly, his legs touched Rukia's. Byakuya froze. He looked over at Rukia, but her eyes were closed. Her legs were so cold. _Was she cold_?

He looked at Rukia properly. Strands of soft black hair fell across her face, her expression uneasy and vulnerable. 'Was she having a nightmare?' Byakuya continued watching her and his eyes widened as Rukia made a sudden movement.

Her hands moved across the cover, seeking, and finally fell across his Byakuya's chest. He drew a sharp breath in, and wondered why his chest suddenly felt so tight.

"_Rukia_," he whispered as loudly and commandingly as he could.

She did not wake. Instead, she moved in his direction and snuggled closer to Byakuya. Her head rested on his chest and her body pressed against Byakuya.

Byakuya tensed, and tried not to pry her fingers away from him and push her back to her side. His heart was beating so fast from her nearness. The closest he had ever gotten to her was when he had carried her in the past, but then her hands had been limp round her body. Now, they encircled _his_ body, and their bodies were essentially pressed together.

All of a sudden, Byakuya's arms were trembling at his sides. Was he scared? Or perhaps…just perhaps…his arms were aching to…do the _same_?

Byakuya felt her body cold. So, she was indeed cold. Was his room t_hat_ cold? He looked down at Rukia. She looked so helpless and needy. He felt something jerk deep in his heart. What was it? It seemed something was always happening to him deep inside when she was about. He nearly jumped when Rukia spoke.

"You know I…not like that…cooking…calligraphy..." Rukia murmured, her eyes still closed.

Byakuya had to smile. His lips lifted slightly and his eyes softened just a little as he looked down at her.

_I know, Rukia_.

* * *

The next morning had been terribly awkward. Rukia had woken up to find her arms locked around Byakuya, her body strayed over to his side. Furthermore, she noted that Byakuya's arms had stayed at both _his _sides.

She had let go immediately, trying to hide her very red face from the sleeping Byakuya. She had a faint suspicion he was pretending to be, because as soon as she had let go of him, he had gotten up the next second and left the room quickly. He probably did it to relieve them both of the painful awkwardness.

_Why did I…_

Nothing more was said regarding the incident.

* * *

**Like I said, this chapter wasn't supposed to be here but I wanted to explore their relationship more before the next chapter so here you have it...chapter 5!!! A bit drama-ish, but I still like it very much. And hope you did as well.**

**Again, I didn't know how a festival would look like in feudal Japan so I hope I made it as good as I can...I also threw in Hitsugaya and Matsumoto for a teeny comic relief...reviews and feedback welcomed!**


	6. All about your Birthday

**Here it is...Chapter 6....keep the reviews coming, you guys motivate me A LOT!!!  
**

* * *

Byakuya wondered why Renji kept staring at him from his lieutenant's seat. It was an enquiring and almost accusing stare.

"What is it, Abarai? If you gave the equal stares at your report, perhaps you could go home early today." Byakuya finally looked in Renji's direction.

Renji got up quickly. "Tai-chou…I was just wondering…"

"What, Abarai?"

"What are the preparations?"

"What preparations?"

"You don't _know_, Tai-chou??? Renji's tone was almost mocking, and a sneer painted his face. "Or Tai-chou, you _forgot_?? It's Rukia's _birthday_ tomorrow."

Byakuya looked at Renji blankly. Rukia's birthday? Tomorrow?

Quickly, Byakuya recovered from the surprise. "I believe there won't be any festivities. We never have any for birthdays, save for Lord Ginrei's."

Renji shrugged, and went back to his desk. Renji had begun talking to Byakuya, and acting the same again. Byakuya knew he was still waiting for Rukia, and he often liked to pick at imperfections in their marriage. Like this birthday.

It's Rukia's birthday tomorrow.

'No wonder a servant asked her about her favourite food at breakfast today.' Even the servants knew. And Byakuya himself was utterly clueless about his own wife's birthday.

* * *

It was Rukia's birthday tomorrow. She was not excited, she never liked birthdays. But she knew nobody would remember it, so it was okay. Though the servants in the Kuchiki household knew. Just this morning, a servant had asked her about her favourite dishes so they could cook it tomorrow. And probably her thirteenth division captain and her colleagues would remember. And Renji.

Byakuya probably did not know. Should she tell him? No, she wouldn't. He would think she was being completely immature again. Just like she was during the festival that evening. She didn't know why she had behaved that way, she usually observed her attitude to be prim and proper well in front of Byakuya. She was going to have to watch herself more carefully from now on.

But it would have been nice to receive a birthday wish from Byakuya. Just a greeting. For the years she had spent in his family, he never did remember her birthday or acknowledged it. There was no reason for him to do so this time as well.

* * *

"Lord Byakuya is not eating tonight." Rukia looked up in surprise at the messenger. She had just seated herself at the dining table with Ginrei.

"Ohh?" Ginrei's voice betrayed no surprise. "A late night duty, perhaps?"

"He just sent a message that he would be coming back very late tonight, and that he would not be having any dinner."

"Very well. Rukia, you might need to get use to this. Byakuya sometimes goes out on captain duties till very late into the night." Ginrei said by way of explanation.

Rukia nodded, and they began eating.

That night, Rukia had much more freedom. She changed in the bedroom, not in the bathroom. She took a look at Byakuya's clothes in the wardrobe, and marveled at the collection of magnificent robes he had. She spread herself on the bed, trying to cover the entire bed with her body.

'How did Byakuya sleep on this huge bed all by _himself_?'

She went round like this for hours before the clock struck twelve and her birthday dawned. Byakuya still had not returned. She got into her side of the bed, and laid into the pillows. Rukia was soon fast asleep, and did not hear her husband return.

* * *

The next morning, Rukia woke up to find the spot next to her empty.

'Did he not come back?' she wondered worriedly.

But she noticed the depression in the bed that was unmistakeably Byakuya's form and knew he had slept much later and woken much earlier than her. She went down to breakfast. No Byakuya. He had left early for the Shinigami headquarters. The servants wished her a happy birthday and Rukia soon departed for headquarters as well.

* * *

"Happy birthday, Rukia-san!!!" Kiyone Kotetsu and Sentarō Kotsubaki pushed against each other, tring to prove their "dedication" to giving her their wishes.

Rukia had to laugh. "Thank you." She smiled. "Oh, Tai-chou!"

White-haired Jushiro Ukitake approached her with his usual kind eyes and even kinder expression. "How's our birthday girl doing?"

"I'm fine, Tai-chou."

"We have something here for you," Ukitake smiled, as he produced a small box from his sleeves. "We thought it might be appropriate for you now. Being a married woman and everything. You might need to get used to these things."

Rukia took it and opened the box. She took out the delicate white jade bracelet. "Thank you, Tai-chou. Thank you Kiyone, Sentaro." She knew it must be the third seat duo whom had gotten this gift. Captain Ukitake was so sickly he rarely left his house, let alone go shopping. Even thought she felt strange, she put on the bracelet. Expectantly, Kiyone and Sentaro looked close to tears. Ukitake smiled.

"You're free today, Rukia. Do what you want," he clapped her shoulder amiably.

"RUKIAAA!!"

Rukia turned to see Renji running happily to her. Captain Ukitake smiled, and left with his two bickering assistants.

"Happy birthday, Rukia!!!"

"Thanks, Renji."

"Here. Your birthday present."

Rukia took the substantially bigger but misshaped package and opened it. She held her laughter in as she took out the gift. It was a white fluffy rabbit plushie. It looked so funny, yet cute at the same time.

"I- It's really cute Renji," she said, smiling affectionately at the plushie. She always had a soft spot for bunnies. "Thank you."

Renji smiled. "You can hug it…when you feel _lonely_." His sentence seemed to be carrying more meaning but Rukia was busy trying to piece together a question she did not notice.

"Renji, are you _free_ to come over? What about Byakuya? Wouldn't he fault you?" She tried to make her voice devoid of concern and curiosity.

"Oh, Tai-chou's out. He came in this morning but he left again." Renji waved his hand dismissively.

Rukia felt something heavy settle within her. Byakuya was _out_. He was missing, today on her birthday.

'But it shouldn't be affecting me,' Rukia shook herself. 'It's not like he knows my birthday anyway. And why do I _care_?' She did not like this feeling.

All day long, people kept dropping in to extend their wishes to her. Despite Ukitake giving her freedom for the day, Rukia stayed in the Thirteenth Division headquarters to go about her usual duties. And Byakuya was still a no-show. Rukia tried hard not to care. _Just a greeting would have sufficed_…

* * *

Rukia made her way back home, lost in thought. The servants greeted her as she passed, and she pasted a half-hearted smile on her face. She did not go to the bedroom. Instead she made her way to the garden, the garden Byakuya alwys loved spending hours in.

The sun was starting to set. She looked at her reflection in the koi pond. She looked…well, _disheartened_.

'What is _wrong_ with me? So what if Byakuya is not going to be here for my birthday? It's always been this way for years. You think it's going to change when you became his wife? Nothing's going to _change_.' She chanted the sentence like a mantra, trying to make her pathetic little heart believe it.

"Rukia."

She felt her heart leapt into her throat. Just one word. It was enough to make her alive and dead, happy and sad, all at the same time. She turned.

The man she had been musing about approached her, the same servant who had leaked her cooking secret out trudging obediently at his heels.

Byakuya stopped in front of her, and suddenly Rukia felt so tiny in front of him.

"Byakuya-sama." She couldn't think of anything to say.

"I did not think you would like hairpins or necklaces or anything for that matter. So I just got you this instead." One long arm extended, offering a dark-blue box with detailed gold carvings on the side, tied up with a red string.

Rukia took the box with trembling hands and untied it. Inside, nestled into red cloth was a beautiful white _sword tassel_. Rukia gasped and took it out carefully.

"I thought it would match your zanpakutou well." Byakuya said, watching Rukia carefully for any unpleasant reaction.

But Rukia's eyes were shining. "It's beautiful," she said, fingering the decorative tassel delicately. The tassel was made out of very white soft cords ('Silk perhaps?' Rukia thought) that were bunched in the center of their length by two glittering stones, before spreading out in their individual strands. Rukia brought the tassel nearer to her face, studying the two stones. Then she realized they were…

"_Crystals_," Byakuya said, sounding very much like a modern schoolteacher giving an explanation to his class on a shool trip. He pointed at the clear, glittering stone Rukia was looking at. "The South Maiden crystal, priced for its faint pearl-like colour and yet very clear and transparent. And right here in the center…"

Rukia had seen it. _Impossible._

"A single ice snowflake. It was embedded in the base before the crystallization was completed."

Rukia was speechless. She stared at the white ice particle in the center, and could make out its faint geometry and jagged sides, the glitter from the crystal enhancing the shape. It was so beautiful.

"Snow ice, for your Zanpakutou." Byakuya said.

But Rukia was already fingering the other crystal. "And this…" she trailed off. Byakuya fell silent.

But Rukia already knew what it was. This one was much easier to make out. This crystal was pink in colour, and right in the embedded center was a single… _cherry blossom_. It was tiny, and the petals had been arranged beautifully to capture the blossom in an eternal bloom. It was as beautiful as the snowflake. _And cherry blossom for…_

Rukia lifted her eyes to Byakuya. He was not looking at her.

The servant looked eagerly between both of them. "Lord Byakuya had been out searching for it since yesterday evening. He just managed to acquire it today. He left his office early both days to go out to get it. It's really a rare masterpiece, Rukia-san!"

Byakuya quickly turned to the servant, but the secret was out. He felt his cheeks heat up, a very rare occurrence, but he knew no colour would be showing even on his pale skin so it was fine. He chanced a look at Rukia and saw her looking at him.

"Thank you so much. Byakuya-sama." Rukia said softly, her eyes soft and beautiful.

"Happy birthday, Rukia."

No more was said. They stood awkwardly in the garden, until the dinner call began.

* * *

Byakuya had learnt to put on extra cover-ups and robes before going to bed nowadays, allowing Rukia complete dominance on the covers. He did not feel like playing tug-of-war on the covers with his wife every night, and he did not wish to repeat that night's incident. He had come to notice Rukia was very sensitive to cold at night. Which was ironic, given her personality and her Zanpakutou.

Tonight was no exception. He had put on extra robes so he was warm even before he slid into bed. Rukia was already fast asleep, judging by the way her chest lifted up peacefully and the soft grunting noises she made. Yes, there was one thing Byakuya now knew and would rather not tell anyone, Rukia did snore sometimes.

It was her birthday, and yet she did not bother much about it. Byakuya hoped she really had truly liked his present. Her expression in the garden had been very satisfying, but he did not know if acting was one of Rukia's better skills. He had searched high and low for that present and he hoped she liked it as much as he did.

As he looked over at her, he was hit by the urge to laugh. She had somehow made an entangled mess of the covers, effectively twisting them around her body. He watched her for a while, before blowing out the lamp and settling into bed himself.

After what felt like hours and he slowly felt himself drifting off, he felt something hit him in his back.

'_Not again_.'

Before he could turn around, he felt small hands snaking round his waist. He stiffened.

'_Rukia, please don't do this. Even if it's your birthday._' In her sleep, Rukia was completely clueless to what she was doing to him. How she was making him feel.

He turned slowly to face her. She was asleep, no doubt, and she was indeed trying to reach him but hampered by those knots and twists she had managed to wound round herself with the blankets. Byakuya looked into her face, peaceful in sleep but desiring the warmth. The warmth of _his_ body.

Byakuya lifted his left hand, leaving her arms around him, and touched Rukia softly on her cheek. She did not stir, but shifted and tried to move closer._ Rukia._ There was a magnetism about her, and Byakuya felt drawn to her as she tried to get to him.

He slid nearer, covering the distance between them easily on the bed. He observed the way her bangs fell across her face, the way her chest lifted slowly and deliberately. And her face... so vulnerable, so carefree, so open, so..._irresistible._..

Without realizing what he was doing, Byakuya freed his arms from his sides at long last and placed them around Rukia. With a swift yet sure movement, he softly pulled Rukia to him, enclosing her in his arms. She did not stir. She slept on, right in his embrace. In the warmth, the safety of his arms.

She smelt of _sakura_ sweetness. So someone had been using _his_ soap. He breathed in her scent. In that moment, Byakuya did not care about anything in the world. He felt the curve of her body against his, and her small hands around his waist. His chin rested on her head, and all he wanted to do was hold her like this as she slept.

_Sleep, Rukia._

_

* * *

  
_

Rukia awoke to warm sunlight playing through the windows. Her first impression was that she was pressed to something very very warm. Very deliciously warm. Very comfortable…she felt herself drifting off.

_Oh. No._

Her eyes flew open. And Rukia found herself staring into black robes.

_Oh no no no_.

Her arms were once again around _him_. Around Byakuya. She could already feel her face heating up. She began to push away from him. And that's when she realized she couldn't.

_Huh?_ Something was hampering her efforts. She looked down and felt her heart stop. Byakuya's arms were around her, locking her in an embrace.

* * *

Byakuya felt something moving against him. He opened his eyes, feeling groggy and unfocused, as he always did first thing when he woke up. However, his trained, sharp senses quickly kicked into play. Rukia was the one moving. He quickly looked down at her. His grey eyes met surprised violet ones_. _

_'Why were those eyes so near?' _

Then he realized it. Rukia was pressed against him, and her hands were trying to push him away. But she couldn't, because _his_ hands were around her.

_Oh my-_

He quickly released her.

Both of them sprang away from each other, as if hit by huge electric currents. As Rukia tried to calm her flustered expression, Byakuya ran a hand through his dishevelled hair.

"Good morning, Rukia." His voice was calm, neutral.

She turned to him, her cheeks pink. "Good morning, Byakuya-sama."

"You were cold last night," he said, and Rukia understood the explanation.

She nodded, and nothing more was said. An unspeakable agreement was already reached to never ever mention the incident. Byakuya got out of bed and went to the bathroom.

* * *

'Why didn't I wake up _earlier_, like I usually do?' Byakuya thought regretfully, placing the towel back on its handle. He didn't know why. He just remembered holding the small form that was Rukia close, and everything had evaporated into nothingness, except the both of them. He had fallen asleep that way, and his sleep had been…_good_. No dreams, no nightmares. Just a peaceful rest _at last_. He would not have woken up from it, had Rukia not moved.

Byakuya looked at his reflection in the mirror. He looked unwavering, as always, but there was something there nobody but Byakuya himself could detect. A little flustered expression, and a bit more… did he look a bit more _awake_ than usual? More…lively?

A little bit more…_alive_?

* * *

Rukia tried to compose herself, before Byakuya got out of the bathroom. She had shamelessly pounced on him in the night again. _And..and…he had…_

She flushed when she thought of Byakuya's arms around her. She then realized not only were her cheeks warm, her whole body had warmed at the thought.

_What??_ No. Nothing was going to _change_.

What am I _doing_?

* * *

**Okay...so here ends Chapter 6...it's actually a further development from the 5th chapter actually...in the 5th chapter, Byakuya was just there and so went and got the prize for Rukia....this time he's going out of his way _personally_ and _intentionally_ to get her something...so I hope you can see the progress from that point... **

**Lol, i hoped you liked the sword tassel part, it was hard for me to figure out something Rukia would like best as her birthday present but I watched some of her scenes and saw her fighting and was like "Why not? She could keep that near her at all times..." The crystals were another one of my inspirations (though I don't think they can exist that way in the REAL world)...seems like my mind can't go off when it comes to ByaRuki :)**

**Review/comment please!! :D  
**


	7. In A Flash

**Here, I want to thank everyone who reviewed this story so far. You guys have no idea how important it means to me, how much of a smile it can put on my face :) Please keep them coming!! **

**Here is chapter 7, enjoy. But before that, a little bit about this chapter. Actually, when I began this story, I began writing _right_ in this chapter, around the middle. And I developed the entire storyline from this chapter in a few days, so you could say this chapter is actually the _precursor_ or _backbone_ for this story to exist. :)  
**

* * *

One week had passed since both husband and wife had endured the embarassing embrace. Things were a bit awkward. One night, Byakuya even slept in the study. Rukia strongly doubted that he could not finish his paperwork, instead she _knew_ he was avoiding her. The other nights passed with no incidence. Rukia wore an additional robe now to bed, in order not to approach her husband in her sleep when she was cold.

And tonight, Rukia was going to have her _shunpo _training. Captain Ukitake had spoken to Byakuya that day, and surprisingly he had given his consent. Rukia suspected it was to keep her out of his way. Renji was going to pick Rukia up tonight at the Kuchiki residence. Actually, Renji was going to be the _one_ to teach her.

After dinner, Rukia waited patiently in the hall for Renji. Byakuya had missed dinner again. He was probably going to come back with Renji. Rukia waited. And waited.

One hour passed.

Then two.

Four.

When the clock struck ten, Rukia knew it was impossible to have her _shunpo_ training for tonight. As a married woman, she was not going to stay out late, and risk the gossips about the Kuchiki family.

She changed in the bedroom, fuming. _Stupid_ Renji. She had been itching to be out on training ground, feeling the wind around her and move her limbs freely. And maybe even have a go with _Sode no Shirayuki_. It looked like _that _was completely out of question now.

When she heard Byakuya's voice in the hallway talking to the servants, Rukia checked the time. It was eleven. _Way too late_. She looked up as Byakuya came in and closed the doors behind him.

"Byakuya!!" she half-shouted, then clapped her mouth with her hand again. How many times was she going to make mistakes when using honorifics?

"Byakuya-sama." She recovered as Byakuya looked at her. "Late-night division duties?"

He nodded and stepped to the wardrobe to get his pyjamas. As he disappeared into the bathroom, Rukia bit her tongue.

"Renji…Renji was with you, Byakuya-sama?" The question slipped out the second Byakuya came out of the bathroom.

Byakuya nodded. "He can't make it today, Rukia. He said to tell you sorry." So precise, so concise. He _always_ knew what she was going to ask.

"But…but he promised!!" Rukia stamped her foot angrily, and immediately regretted the action. After all, you didn't whine round like a young child in front of Byakuya.

Byakuya appeared not to have heard her, as he tied the final knot delicately round the front of his black robes. Then he turned to her.

"_I_ will teach you."

"Wha- … but I-I…Byaku…" Rukia's shock was evident in her messy stammering.

"Abarai called out for duty so I promised him I would teach you instead." Byakuya went on as he walked to the bed and sat down on the edge. "Show me what you know."

Rukia felt a blush creeping across her face.

_Show me what you know_.

Byakuya sat on the edge of the bed, in his black sleeping robes, looking right at her. She suddenly felt very self-conscious. 'Why did they have to practice in the _bedroom_? And why of all people, with _Byakuya_?'

"I-"

"Just use _shunpo_ to go wherever you want to go in this room. The location doesn't matter, what matters is the _speed_. Just keep going until I tell you to stop."

* * *

'What am I doing?' Byakuya wondered. He was _supposed_ to be avoiding her. It seemed like he was not following his _head_ these few days. He really should watch himself carefully.

He had never done this before. He had never offered himself to guide anyone, and he was shocked at his own actions, even more shocked than Rukia herself. But unlike Rukia, years of practice served him well and his face remained impartial and passive despite the turbulent storm within him.

All he just remembered was Rukia acting so childishly, the first time he ever saw her acting like this in front of him, though he did know for one that she did it most of the time in front of Abarai and that Kurosaki lad. He saw the way the exasperated expression float across her face, making her eyes seem twice as big; her bangs flew up as she huffed out loud, as she had done the most ridiculous thing Byakuya ever saw and stamped her foot.

She was so brash. She was so silly. So stupid. She was so…so…_cute_. Byakuya had turned away so she couldn't see his mouth threatening to lift up in a small, rare smile.

* * *

Rukia was in a total panic. _Shunpo_?

She hesitantly took a stance, gathering the _Reishi_ and her self-confidence. _You can do this, Rukia_. The bathroom door. _Go!_

Byakuya watched as Rukia flashed to the bathroom door, and then back to the center of the room. She looked back at him but he continued looking at her without saying a word. An expression of uncertainty and fear clouded her face. She flashed to the wardrobe and back.

Byakuya watched her. She took an unreasonable amount of steps for each movement, which made her flash steps considerably slower. She also seemed unsure of her movement. Not good.

"_Stop._"

Rukia looked at Byakuya. His expression was unreadable, and Rukia was a little out of breath from her feeble attempts. She felt that familiar feeling of uselessness again.

"How do you think you did?"

Rukia hung her head. "Not good."

"And why is that so?"

"Because…" Rukia gripped her hands together. "Because I'm not good enough." But she wanted to say what she felt.

"I'm no good… but I'm a bit better than this." She felt Byakuya's hard gaze on her.

"You make me nervous!" She blurted out. "You're among the masters of _shunpo_! How would it feel for a normal practitioner to perform the same skill in front of a Master? I'm nervous! Because _you_ are looking at me!"

She stopped suddenly, and felt very embarrassed. She never had an outburst like that in front of Byakuya. It seemed like she was doing a lot of "forbidden" things in front of him these days. She turned to look at him, to check his expression but he was not there._ 'Wha-_

Silky fabric brushed her arm and she suddenly felt a hard wall appear suddenly behind her.

"I'm _not_ looking now." She heard Byakuya's deep voice, felt his breath on her ear. Felt his firm hand grasp her wrist from behind and then…

She felt the speed of his _shunpo_ as he disappeared, taking her with him.

"Feel the speed, watch the movement of my feet." Byakuya's counselling was calm and almost authoritative.

Rukia nodded. It was hard to concentrate with Byakuya so close behind her, ('and _why_?' she wondered) with his one arm around her to make her keep up with his speed, but it was true. Byakuya's flash steps were incredible, precise, so unlike her clumsy own. And his steps were indeed lightning fast, as they flashed onto different spots in the room, and disappeared as soon as they appeared.

To the edge of the bed he sat earlier. To the door. To right in front of the mirror, where Rukia caught sight of her disoriented expression, and saw Byakuya right behind her, looking ever so aristocratic and unfazed. Then their reflection was gone, and Rukia felt her feet steady under her as Byakuya stepped away from her in the center of the bedroom.

She shakily looked up at him.

"Did you catch that? The technique? Because I don't usually do demonstrations a second time."

"I- I think so."

"Then catch me."

_Huh? What? Catch you? _

Byakuya extended his hand to Rukia. "Catch me."

Rukia thought Byakuya had gone mad in that second. Catch him? And he was extending his hand to her? Was he _stupid_? She reached out to touch his arm but –

It was gone in a flash.

She turned to her left, to see Byakuya standing a few metres away. She understood then.

"This room is small. Just catch me."

Rukia flashed ('_too_ slow,' thought Byakuya) to the spot he had stood. Empty. He was long gone. She felt a ripple of challenge. So he was going to do _this_…

* * *

This was the training Byakuya had gone through in his childhood days, taught by the Goddess of Flash, Shihoin Yoruichi. He remembered it clearly. To catch your enemy, you had to possess the speed. And also the ability to read your opponent's movements. Byakuya definitely had the speed, but he could never read Yoruichi's movements. They were very unpredictable, and he hated to admit it, yet very expertly organized. It was the reason he had lost every single game of tag with her. But today, he was not being taught, he was the teacher.

It was _frustrating_. Rukia could never reach Byakuya in time. He was always gone from the spot when she made her way there. She always grasped empty air, and yet she felt the slight wind as he passed her mid-step. He wasn't even using his _usual_ speed! And she couldn't catch him.

'_Focus_, Rukia. There's still another way to catch him, even if your speed is not up to match. Read his movements. Read his feet, and predict quickly his destination even before he moves,' The small voice in Rukia's head counselled.

She stopped a bit and observed Byakuya. The pattern of his legs just before the flash. His stance. The light leapt he made just before he disappeared. _To the left_! She flashed there, and this time her eyes caught a flash of black robes before she landed on the spot. She _read_ Byakuya's movements!

Rukia allowed a mischievous smile to form on her lips as she looked at Byakuya's slightly surprised face.

_So she's getting better. _She had read his movements well, but her speed did not allow her the upper hand. Byakuya saw the smile that grazed Rukia's face, teasing him. She had never smiled that way at him. He felt the familiar tug at his heart again.

For the next hour, two figures flashed back and forth in the room. Rukia could keep up with Byakuya now (though it was not his usual speed, and he did nothing to go faster) but she still could not catch him. But instead of frustration and anger, the atmosphere was almost playful. Rukia could have sworn she saw Byakuya mock her with a smile as he disappeared through her grasp yet again, after being so close. She wasn't going to give up. Mirror. Center. Left. _Bed!_

Byakuya was completely unprepared for what happened next. He was silently laughing at Rukia (and now he understood the fun Yoruichi had playing with him) though he wasn't sure if it showed on his face. He flashed to the bed after narrowly avoiding Rukia and suddenly he felt someone appear beside him almost the same instant he did. Rukia had correctly predicted his location, almost a _second _earlier than the previous attempt. Only problem was she got a little overexcited and had _shunpo_-ed in between the very very narrow space between where Byakuya stood and the bed. Where there was absolutely almost _no _standing space.

He saw her eyes flash with happy success as she looked at him. Next second, she had reached out and pulled the front of Byakuya's robes, probably to keep him from running away, though Byakuya had no intention of that whatsoever. Then the happiness turned to panic in her eyes as she lost her balance and fell back. It happened too fast, Byakuya could not react. The hand pulling his robes had not let go, and he fell on top of her on the bed.

* * *

Rukia's legs were sandwiched between Byakuya's and the rough edge of the bed. She had caught Byakuya! Suddenly, she felt her legs start to lose balance and she tipped towards the bed.

_Uh-oh._

It all happened very fast, she toppled back onto the bed and she had pulled Byakuya down with her. They landed on the bed together, and the soft mattress absorbed the impact. Byakuya fell right on top of her, and Rukia felt her breath knocked out of her. He was so big, and heavy.

She looked up at him and saw a bewildered and confused expression on the handsome Sixth Division Captain's face. It was so unlike Byakuya. He looked so lost and disoriented, like a young puppy dog. It was the expression that did it for Rukia. She opened her mouth and started to laugh.

* * *

She was laughing. She was pinned down by his weight and she was laughing. Byakuya couldn't help but smile.

_This girl is really unbelievable. She just single-handedly tackled me down._

Byakuya couldn't imagine how this tactic was going to be useful fighting Hollows, or Arrancars. As he looked down at her laughing, he noticed things about Rukia. Her eyelashes were actually really long and black, and they made her eyes look big and wide and innocent. Right now, her eyes were small and nearly narrowed down to slits as she laughed. She looked so small and young. Her nose was straight and well-defined. Her lips were a little pink and looked so pretty as they formed into shapes while she laughed. _Her lips_…

* * *

Rukia saw Byakuya's expression change. The laughter died on her lips. She suddenly became aware that they were close, much too close. She should push him away now, before things got more awkward. But she did not. She stayed right where she was, and looked into Byakuya's eyes.

"_Rukia_." Byakuya murmured, his voice deep and husky.

Slowly, a long finger trailed over her cheek, making her skin tingle, but warmly. Rukia could hear her heart beating so loud in the silence of the bedroom. Or was it Byakuya's? He was so close, too close. The strands of hair usually kept up by the kenseikan hung so near her face now they played across her cheek.

Rukia's eyes widened even more. They were so pretty, as Byakuya looked into the purple sea of her irises, sometimes changing to dark blue where the light hit them. Her skin felt soft and smooth, as he ran his finger over her cheek. His hand stayed on her cheek for a long time, lingering, waiting.

"_Rukia_," he whispered softly, and the last of his self-restraint vanished.

Then Byakuya bent his head down and did the thing that had been haunting his dreams in the night, that made him wake up feeling completely useless and helpless. He kissed Rukia softly, brushing his lips slightly against hers, giving her a chance to resist, to say no.

'_Push me away. Before I completely lose myself_.'

But Rukia stayed as still as a statue, her lips so soft on his own, like the petals of a rose in early bloom. So gentle, so very sweet it made the ache and fear in Byakuya evaporate. He became braver, became honest to himself, to his own desires. Byakuya deepened the kiss, pressing his lips harder against hers, feeling Rukia tense up underneath him.

'_Push me away_.'

Her hands were still on his chest, fisted into his black robes, but she made no effort to force him away. Instead, her hands seem to be dragging him down, pulling him closer… her lips felt so good on his, like they weren't meant to be anywhere else, and Byakuya felt so many things explode within him in that instant; joy, sadness, anger, ecstasy, _desire_.

Rukia had never been kissed before in her life. It felt so…_good_. She felt like their lips could not get close enough, even though Byakuya's was pressing insistently on hers. She wanted to get closer to him…

Byakuya kissed Rukia harder, letting go everything he had kept behind locked doors all this while. Desire, lust, passion. He ran his tongue over Rukia's lips, and her mouth opened, allowing an involuntary moan to escape. Byakuya's tongue slipped into the entrance and teased her tongue slightly. The hand on her cheek moved slowly to the nape of her neck, entangled in the soft strands of her black hair. Byakuya deepened the kiss, as his tongue explored every recess in Rukia's mouth.

Rukia had never felt pleasure like this before. Thoughts ran through her mind, _indecent_ thoughts but they were quickly made incomprehensible by Byakuya's kisses. She wanted Byakuya. Wanted him _bad_. Her body was already arching into his, needing his touch.

Byakuya's hands held her so softly. One stayed on the back of her neck, the other snaked round her waist. Firm yet gentle. She had no idea the cold, emotionless captain could ever be so gentle, though she once thought he might have the potential to be, when she accidentally saw him practice with _Senbonzakura_ in the private training wing of their house. She had seen the way his hands move across the air and the petals rushed upwards at his slightest movement. She had marveled at his hands being so very swift yet graceful. And those very hands were around her now, caressing her ever so gently as if she might break.

His lips were on her throat now, nipping at her ear, down the side of her face… Rukia was already breathless from her _shunpo_ attempts, and now the heat from Byakuya's lips was making her breaths get even shorter and faster. She was going to pass out and die, but it seemed like a small price to pay for being kissed and touched by Byakuya like this.

_Just one more kiss…_

_

* * *

  
_

The birds chirping woke Rukia up from her sleep. She opened her eyes, and everything came rushing back to her. She quickly looked to her left. The spot was empty, with the familiar depression in the mattress. Rukia sat up, and hugged her legs. Last night came rushing back to her… the _kiss_…Byakuya holding her ever so tightly in his arms… how he murmured softly in her ear making her whole body tingle and ache with want…

She felt a sudden warmth spread from within her and she got up and walked to the ornate oak mirror at the end of the room. Her hair fell in disheveled strands around her face and a strong pink colored her expression. She lifted her left hand to touch her hot cheek, the same cheek Byakuya's hands had lingered on just the night before.

_Byakuya-sama…_

_

* * *

  
_

Byakuya straightened in his position at the captain's desk, as he reviewed the reports of the Sixth Division. Truthfully, Byakuya never liked paperwork but it was necessary as a Captain to overview his subordinates' duties. He could usually put up with it, any time of any day. Just not _today_.

His mind was filled with so many conflicting thoughts, thoughts of the night before. How Rukia looked so beautiful as she lifted up her face to his, ever so near so he could feel her soft breath on his face, threatening to take him over the edge. How her small hands felt on his chest, as he hovered above her so close, too close. How he wanted her so much, to make her his. How_… _

_What did she think of him after last night??_

He knew she should be awake by now, and he wondered what she was doing, thinking at this moment. Was she thinking of him? Of the kiss last night? Did she think he was completely dishonourable, a pervert, to make a move on her after being married to her sister for years? And was _he_? Was he such a complete bastard to touch Rukia, his late wife's sister?

Byakuya did not know how he was going to face Rukia when he went home today. He did not think he would be able look her in the eye after what he did last night. There was also one more thing.

He had not thought of Hisana even _once_.

Byakuya had not expected this to happen. Not expected it at all. He thought he would just "marry" Rukia, keep the old man happy, and they would continue that platonic, walled-off, tight-bordered brother-sister relationship they had.

He had always maintained a cold, aloof personality around Rukia (and everyone else, for that matter) in order not to get too close to her. It was painful enough watching someone who looked so much like the soulmate you lost, and even more painful to take her under your wing. So Byakuya had built a wall around himself from Rukia, so she couldn't get close to him. More importantly, so _he_ couldn't get close to _her_.

He thought he had enough self-restraint for the wall to hold after the marriage. Apparently, it had not worked out the way he wanted. He did not count on Rukia suddenly becoming more and more beautiful to him as each day passed. Did not count on her personality to slowly affect him. Did not count on his treacherous heart to waver when Rukia was close to him. Did not count on losing Hisana in his thoughts when he looked into Rukia's eyes.

Did not count on… falling in _love _with her.

"_Tai-chou_!!"

The loud voice jolted Byakuya out of his deep thoughts, and his brush made a splotch on the page he was supposed to review. He looked up at Renji Abarai, who was staring closely at him. Renji, Rukia's childhood friend from the Rukongai. _Rukia_. 'What does everything I see have to remind me of her?' Byakuya mentally shook himself and focused on Renji who was saying something.

"What is it, Abarai?"

"I was just saying, Tai-chou, you look like you were trying to will _Senbonzakura_ out with your eyes to shred the report to pieces. You're not developing a new training technique, are you?" Renji laughed loudly, scratching the back of his head.

"Is that all you have come here to say?" Byakuya returned his eyes to the paperwork.

"No, actually, Tai-chou. The eleventh division has requested some men from our division for a mission tonight. They did not give any specifics, only that they are short of the usual workforce."

"How many do they need?"

"Around fifteen, Tai-chou."

"Pick out fourteen men then, Abarai."

"_Fourteen_?"

Byakuya raised his head slightly to look at Renji. "I'm going, too."

"But…but…Tai-chou, it's not a big deal. I suppose they are just going on a mass Hollow-tracking business, or something like that. You don't need to involve yourself in such trivial-"

"ABARAI. I want to observe the way my men perform in the field. And even my skills will _rust_ if I don't use them frequently."

Renji walked out of the office, wondering if Byakuya was having one of those weird days again. His Captain can act so strange sometimes.

Byakuya watched him go, knowing his real reason to do so was to cowardly avoid a set of painfully beautiful purplish-blue eyes tonight.

* * *

**And so...Byakuya has finally made the first move...after...6 chapters? But he's practically terrified afterwards...**

**My aim in this chapter is to make some of you go into fangirl frenzy...or feel the sexual tension...so if I successfully did, drop me a line or review k?? LOL :D**

**I used _shunpo_ this time as the romantic trigger...and I don't know if you do, but I like that idea...problem was I didn't know how to write it properly to translate it into action the reader might be able to feel...so I don't know if it appeared a bit stiff ..or whether it's fine to you...so, let me know...then I can improve my writing. Cheers. :)**


	8. Hurt

**This chapter is going to be a short one, the shortest one so far...before the next one, which is considerably longer and heavier in content so watch out for it. :)

* * *

**

Byakuya was avoiding her. Rukia felt a knot form in her stomach when she thought about it. Yes, he definitely was. He did not come back the day after the night they had shared those heated kisses. The last time they embraced in bed, Byakuya had retreated to the study. Now he actually _stayed_ at the Shinigami headquarters for the night! Rukia wondered what she did wrong.

Was she…_bad_? At kissing? That night, she was completely immobilized while he kissed her. Was he perhaps _displeased_? That she gave _no_ response?

There was another reason she could think up for his actions, and this was probably more logical. He felt _guilty_. Guilty to her sister, Hisana. Was he? Or was he guilty to Rukia, for touching her when he was not supposed to? Nothing was supposed to change, wasn't it?

And what about her, Rukia? Was she guilty to Hisana? Kissing her sister's husband? She didn't know. She hadn't known her sister at all. She respected her sister's memory, and the bond Hisana shared with Byakuya. She was not going to encroach on that.

That was also another matter that bugged Rukia all day. Did Byakuya kiss her because he really wanted to kiss _her_, Rukia? Sure, he had called her Rukia in his deep voice. But she looked so _much_ like Hisana. Could it be that he lost himself in that moment because he missed Hisana so much?

Rukia sometimes wondered if she did not look like Hisana at all, would Byakuya have treated her the way he was treating her now? But she already knew deep down in her heart, that she did not _care._ If Byakuya were to use her as a substitute for his feelings, she would accept it willingly. Because that was the only way she could bask in his _love_, his _care_, his _touch_.

She had fallen hard for him.

* * *

That night, Byakuya was late again. Like all the nights before. Rukia had grown used to it. But her sadness stayed. She crept into bed, and drifted off miserably.

She opened her eyes in the middle of the night, feeling groggy. What time was it?

She heard a sound, like someone shuffling across the room. So Byakuya was _back_. But it was so unlike his usual footsteps. He usually walked straight, without any hesitation or lag in his steps. But the person moving in her room was walking with slight difficulty, dragging his feet.

Rukia slowly brought her right hand at the bed's edge down to the floor to her _zanpakutou_. Her fingers touched the crystals of the tassel she hung round the sword, and she was painfully reminded of Byakuya. Quickly, she turned on the light and whirled to face the intruder.

"_Byakuya_!!"

It was Byakuya indeed. But he was-

"What _happened_?" Rukia got up from the bed immediately.

Byakuya's white captain _haori _covering his Shinigami robes were stained with red at his upper left shoulder. The blood had apparently seeped unseen through the black robes to stain the white covering.

Byakuya, who had momentarily froze with shock, relaxed into his usual calm self and swept his hand dismissively. "It's nothing. You can go back to sleep, Rukia."

"No, it's not nothing." Rukia approached him tentatively. She had just remembered he was avoiding her.

Byakuya did not meet her eyes. "A slight injury from duty." He sat on his side of the bed. "It's no problem. I can patch it up here. There will be no need to call for the family physician or wake Grandfather up."

Rukia nodded, and went to fetch bandages and the medical supplies. She put these down in front of Byakuya and stood in front of him.

Byakuya glanced once at her. Rukia stood her ground. She wasn't going to move. Wasn't going to move till she had seen his injury and watch him, as he said, _patch_ it up.

Byakuya then knew there was no dissuading her. He slipped out of the stained _haori_ and then his fingers moved to the knot tying his Shinigami robes together. He chanced another look at Rukia. She was biting her lip, her expression resolute as she looked at the spot on his shoulder. He did not have time to worry about putting her off. Truth to say, the wound was not heavy, but he didn't want to go dripping blood everywhere. He untied the knot quickly and shook the robes off himself, before sitting back on the bed.

Rukia nearly gasped when she saw the wound on his shoulder. It did not appear deep, but it was certainly bloody. She watch Byakuya gingerly pick the bandage up with his right hand and his left hand pulled the free end off the roll. The bandage was stained with the blood dripping from his left arm even before he tried to apply it to his shoulder.

"Let _me_." Rukia said. Her no-nonsense and worried tone prevented Byakuya from stopping her.

She took the bandage and knelt before Byakuya. Her hands work quickly around his shoulder as she bandaged the wound. Her face came dangerously close to Byakuya's, but she was too worried to notice. All she wanted was to stop the bleeding. To stop Byakuya bleeding.

Byakuya had not been focusing well on his job, his mind full of thoughts of Rukia. The usual Byakuya would not have gotten so much as a single scratch from the duty tonight. He watched Rukia's careful hands work around his shoulder, soft and nimble. Occasionally, she would come very close to him as she passed the bandage between her hands behind his shoulder. He felt her breath on his face, felt her hands touch his skin. He hated the worry in her expression, hated himself for causing her to feel so. Hated the hurt he was causing her over the past few days.

Byakuya endured the ache inside. He looked at the lips he had claimed that night back, and all he wanted to do was to make a fresh mark on them again with his own. He wanted to touch her so badly, and she was so close right in front of him. But he can't.

_I can't. _

Rukia finished bandaging his wound, and helped him into fresh robes. She then stepped back from him.

"I'm sorry. It won't happen _again_." Byakuya said.

Rukia caught the words, and caught the double meaning it represented. She held back her tears as she nodded silently and went back to bed.

Byakuya himself gripped his hands hard and endured the pain of his words, as his shoulder bled.

_I'm such a coward_.

* * *

**So there you have it for chapter 8. Rejection would have served as a better title. :( **

**Sorry I had to, like, work Byakuya into some kind of, well, jerk...but at the moment, he's just too afraid of doing what he wants to :)  
**

**Though it's short, review/comment anyways!! **


	9. Losing Myself

**"Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so." -David Grayson-**

**The ninth chapter is here. Hope you...er, enjoy it ;) **

* * *

Rukia looked at the servant. "Kuchiki-taichou is unwell. He is resting in the study. He has requested no one disturb him there."

Impossible. _Byakuya was sick_?? Did his injury take a toll on his health?? As usual, Byakuya had continued avoiding her over the past few days. But this time, Rukia felt more worried than sad, because without seeing Byakuya, she had no way to know if he was recuperating from his injury well. And now, he was _unwell_? What did _that _mean?

Ginrei did not react to the news, but continue eating.

Rukia looked down at her food, chewing her lip. Then she decided on it.

She quickly finished her food, as gracefully as she could. She turned to Lord Ginrei, "Grandfather, may I be excused?"

Ginrei just nodded, putting more food into his mouth.

"Yoji, can you take me to the Kuchiki herbal stores?" Rukia addressed the servant (the "_blabber_", she addressed him secretly) who had now become a close attendant of hers.

As Rukia followed Yoji down the hall, Ginrei smiled to himself.

* * *

Rukia spent the next hour sorting through the herbs in the dark store. 'If the Kuchiki noble house ever ran out of money, they could definitely develop a booming business in selling medicines,' Rukia thought. The racks were stocked _full_ of medicines, herbs, and all sorts of health goodies as Rukia's eyes sorted them out. Natural remedies for strength, for vitality (_no_!), for general health, for toxins. She took the ones she thought would be relevant and settled down to brew them.

It was hard work, but Rukia did not mind. Sweat dotted her forehead as she fanned the pot. This would probably be good for him, help him get back on track.

After another hour of fanning and Yoji's continuous suggestions and offers to help, a bowl of dark herbal soup sat on the tray as Rukia walked to the study. As Yoji was too excited, Rukia had given him the task of carrying the bowl of herbal soup. At least it would distract him from talking.

She knocked softly once, and entered. She did not wait for his call, as he might be sleeping. She went in and saw Byakuya.

He wasn't resting. He wasn't even sitting. He was _standing_, and polishing his Zanpakutou rather vigorously.

Full of vigor. Full of energy. His wound had healed completely. He _wasn't_ sick.

* * *

Byakuya looked up in surprise as the door opened. His eyes widened when he saw Rukia. She was standing with the servant who had blurted out the details about the birthday gift he had gotten for her. A bowl of something hot was wafting steam on the tray in the man's hands.

_She caught me._

"Kuchiki-taichou, how are you?" the servant bowed low, completely oblivious to Byakuya's complete well-being. "Rukia-san has just brewed some herbal goodness for you. She spent a whole two hours on it after dinner!"

Byakuya looked at Rukia.

She did not budge or look away but her mouth opened.

"Yoji, please take the soup back to the kitchen. Kuchiki-taichou will drink it later."

Yoji looked between husband and wife, and withdrew with the soup and a thousand questions.

Rukia turned her back and walked back to the bedroom. Without another word, Byakuya swept after her.

* * *

Rukia turned to the silent Byakuya, who had closed the bedroom door behind him and who was now staring at her.

She looked at him angrily, hating the way his handsome face looked in all its perfection, hated the way his features are never moved with emotion. Rukia had never shown her anger to Byakuya before. She had, in the past, been frustrated and angry with him but had chose to smother it when she was in front of him.

"So, you weren't _sick_," she said, her voice shaking with anger. Byakuya said nothing.

"If I disgust you _so_ much, you could at least order me out of your room! So you can go back to your room in peace, and not put up in the study! So I can go back to _mine_. So I don't need to sit round in _your _room, reminded about _YOU_, and wonder what the hell I did wrong!"

She was breaking. Breaking right in front of him. And his face still remained impassive. Rukia hated that. Hated him. Hated everything about him.

"If you regretted kissing me, just tell me so. Tell me things are not going to change. Tell me straight, and save us both the trouble! Then you can stop avoiding me, _Nii-sama_!!" She shouted the last word, as angry tears began to cloud her vision.

She pushed past him roughly and ran for the door, not caring anymore if she was not gentle, if she was rough or brash. She just wanted to get away from him, before her tears started spilling over, before he saw her in this vulnerable and pathetic state. She was barely two steps away from the door when she saw a flash and Byakuya appeared flawlessly in front of her, blocking her exit.

"Did I say you could leave?"

"Out of my way!" Rukia shouted, not bothering to keep her voice low.

Byakuya did not budge. He just stood there and looked at her.

Rukia was angry. She was so angry at Byakuya.

"You always think your word is the law. You don't want to come to dinner. Nobody's to disturb you. Don't enter your room. People have to follow what you say all the time! You go about as you please. You don't care if they are worried about you! You don't care if they're wondering! You don't care that they want to know what's going on with you! You don't care about them! You don't care about _me_."

Her face was flushed, and she was breathing hard. She had never scolded anyone like this, not even Renji or Ichigo. She did not care. And her tears had begun to spill over. She angrily wiped them away.

She pushed again past Byakuya, and he moved slightly sideways. For a moment, she thought he had let her through. But before she could reach for the door, one long arm shot out and grabbed her hand. Swfitly, he pushed her back against the wall, and pinned both her arms down with his.

Rukia's eyes widened in shock.

"Don't call me like _that_. It _hurts_." Byakuya said quietly, his eyes burning into hers, as she lay trapped against the wall.

"Yes, I'm trying to get as far from you as possible. Would you like me to be close to you? Like this?" He leaned in closer to a stiff Rukia.

"You shouldn't. Because you will get _hurt_." He was so close, Rukia felt his lips lightly brush hers as he spoke.

"Do you think I regret kissing you? If I _regret_, why do I find myself reliving that moment over and over again? If I _regret_, why do I feel like betraying Hisana whenever I touch you, whenever I want to?"

Rukia gasped. It was the first time he had ever mentioned Hisana like this in front of the both of them.

"If I regret, why do I feel like… like making _love_ to you?"

* * *

Byakuya had never seen Rukia like this. She looked so severe. The next second, she had opened her mouth and let go of all her frustrations and pent-up anger. Her worries, her sadness. Byakuya took every blow at him, he knew he deserved it. And yet as he watched Rukia being like this, he couldn't help noticing she was so beautiful, even when she was angry. Her eyes, her hair, her mouth. When he saw the tears glistening in her eyes, he wanted to…

He had to get out of this room, before he did something to her. Something really _bad_.

But he couldn't. Because he wanted to tell her a lot of things. He wanted to tell her how it tormented him to be acting like he was right now. He wanted to tell her how he ached to touch her. He wanted to tell her he _couldn't_.

He didn't know what he was saying. He was getting much too close to her. He really should get out now. But her eyes were pulling him, hypnotizing him. He was…_losing_…

* * *

Rukia did not know what to say. Her breath was threatening to leave her, she couldn't grasp any words.

"I-" she stuttered.

No sooner had she opened her mouth, Byakuya was kissing her.

He did not release her hands, but brought his face to hers and kissed her.

He pressed his lips against hers with an urgency she had never felt before, as his own body pressed against hers, the wall against her back. She could not move away. She did not even want to.

This kiss was different from the last time. It was passionate, desperate, _wanting_. It was so different from the soft and tentative ones they shared before, this one spoke of hours of longing and desire, wild flowers bursting into bloom the moment their lips touched.

Rukia wanted to hold Byakuya badly, but his hands were pinning hers to the wall in an iron grip. She opened her mouth to tell him, but it only gave a chance for his tongue to enter her mouth and finally twist around hers. She moaned in pleasure, as Byakuya's tongue continued its tantalizing exploration of her mouth.

She heard the flash and suddenly felt springy softness under her back. Byakuya had brought them to the bed. To be precise, he had used his flash steps. Now, he stared down at her with eyes filled with heated passion and want, matched only by her own. He freed her arms at last as he bent down to claim her lips once more.

Ruka moved her hands up Byakuya's body, up his chest, his shoulders and finally to his hair. She teased his _kenseikan_ off and it fell away, letting Byakuya's hair loose. Neither of them cared. His hair was so soft, it practically flowed in her hands. Her fingers moved, threading his hair, as Byakuya groaned slightly. Then they slowly moved down to his face, to the hollow of his cheeks, as his mouth continued to dominate hers.

Slowly, he trailed his lips to her neck, below her earlobe, down her throat. Rukia made small noises of pleasure, as her hands around Byakuya trembled.

Byakuya stopped and looked up at her with meaningful eyes.

"Rukia, tell me to stop and I will," He breathed hard, his voice an urgent whisper. "Because if you don't, you won't be able to stop me _later_." It would be agonizing to stop now, but he doubted he would have any self-control left if this progressed.

He should stop. He really should. But he didn't want to. He wanted Rukia. Wanted to make Rukia his. And the only way he would stop was if _she _told him to.

"Rukia." He pressed urgently.

"Don't…" she said breathlessly, before pulling him down for another mind-blowing kiss.

Her hands moved of their own accord, down to the knot tying his robes together. She fumbled with them, trying to make them loosen off. Byakuya's hands came then, stopping her, slowly guiding her through it. The knot came undone in her hands. Fingers trembling, she pushed the robes back off Byakuya's shoulders, as he slid off them easily.

Rukia looked up at Byakuya, and she felt her face turn red. It was the first time she had seen Byakuya naked like this, and so close to her. Byakuya's body was…there was no word for it, just like everything about himself, it was _perfect_. He was lean, not overly muscular and stout like those bodybuilders Rukia had seen in human world. Yet as he held her tight, she felt the muscles in his arm tense and bunch up. His chest was hard, and like sculpted marble.

Byakuya reached for her robes, and began untying them. As he did, Rukia reached up and touched his chest softly. The touch of her hand on his own bare skin was like welcomed rain on a desert. He had been parched for too long. When she ran her hands across his chest, across his hard nipple, it was enough to send his emotions into a frenzy.

Rukia tried not to tremble when Byakuya undid her clothes. She felt safe with him, to be with him. She wanted their skins to be joined. But she couldn't stop turning even redder, when her clothes fell away. She felt very exposed and vulnerable, right before Byakuya as his eyes roved over her.

Sensing her discomfort, he bent down and kissed her once again. Telling her it was okay. It was fine. Telling her she was beautiful. The uncertainty was replaced quickly by passion and desire. He kissed her deeply and pressed her into the pillows.

He then leaned back and kissed her breast, stunning Rukia and making her gasp out. His tongue circled around her pink nipple, and his teeth nipped gently at the soft flesh. Rukia squirmed beneath him, letting out little moans of pleasure, calling out Byakuya's name. Her hands tug at Byakuya's hair, making him groan slightly. She felt her back arch, her body pressed into his, demanding much more than that.

_Rukia, you have no idea how you are making me feel…_

Rukia's body was reaching a climax. She couldn't think straight, seeing white lights in front of her eyes. Byakuya's mouth moved about her body, inflaming every area of skin he touched. Her chest, her stomach, her breast, her inner thighs. Her hands now gripped the sheets, as she struggled to keep her mind sane.

* * *

Byakuya wanted to know everything about Rukia. Every mark on her body, how her skin looked and tasted at every spot. He wanted to give as much pleasure to her as what he felt when she touched him, when her hands moved around his body, to his chest, to his hips, to his hardness. How much she aroused him. His desire was already throbbing hard.

"Rukia, I don't- I don't want to hurt you." Byakuya's face was above hers now, trying hard to contain the desire already threatening to make him explode.

She reached out one hand, and tenderly caressed his cheek. "It's okay."

_Stay with me, Rukia._

_Byakuya, please._

She cried out when he entered her. But Byakuya was gentle, he held her tenderly and kissed all her fears and uncertainty away. His mouth covered hers to smother her cries as he began to move. She clung to him, as her body began to move in response, and she began to derive the pleasure as he moved within her.

_Be mine…_

Soon, Rukia was meeting Byakuya with each thrust. Their breaths were coming out ragged, as they moved together. Their skin was slippery with sweat, but they continued to hold each other. They called each other's name desperately, trying to get enough, trembling as the wave built within them, as they rode it together to the ending crest. Their breaths were matched in rhythm now, as were their movements.

Rukia was making heavy groans of pleasure now, as her hands clawed at Byakuya's shoulders desperately. Byakuya kept one hand steady on Rukia but he himself was spiralling out of control. When they reached the climax, everything exploded.

In flashes of white.

In _ecstasy_.

In a blissful haze of _completeness_.

_I'm yours._

Both bodies trembled together with the release. Rukia cried out, with Byakuya matching her an octave below.

They were spent, thoroughly.

Byakuya moved himself to Rukia's left before he collapsed next to her. They both turned to each other, trying to steady their breathing. Their eyes met, and slowly, something mutual passed between them.

Byakuya reached out with his hand and slowly pushed Rukia's hair from her sweaty forehead. He looked into her eyes, willing her to see what it was he wanted to tell her before opening his mouth and making the thing he had been denying all along a reality. "I love you, Rukia."

She smiled. "I love you, Byakuya." She whispered back.

Byakuya moved over to her, planting a gentle kiss on her nose before putting his arms round her as they both drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Rukia stirred slightly. She opened one bleary eye. There was no sunlight yet, but she heard a faint chirping sound. It was morning, very early morning. She turned and groped for the warm figure next to her. She only found tangled sheets on the bed.

"_Byakuya_?"

* * *

**Byakuya?? Actually, I was going to put the next part after this but I finally decided to try a cliffhanger feel in this chapter ;)**

**I'm never going to be an erotic fiction writer!! It was so hard to write this...didn't really know how to do this properly...how to make it not so graphic but "climax-ish" at the same time...LOL :D so hope I did ok..  
**

**But I was nearly laughing when i saw antonia.c's review "...better than having them jump straight into bed". I was thinking "But they're gonna jump into bed in the _next_ chapter"...well, at least there was a gap of more than a week in the story :)**

**I also want to do a shoutout here to Britt, you know who you are...thanks so much!! ;)**

**Please, please review/comment!!  
**


	10. Dealing with Memories

**"Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes...just be an illusion." -Javan-**

**Chapter 10, picking up where it left off from when Rukia woke up to Byakuya's absence...**

**

* * *

  
**

Byakuya paused in front of the room, his hands clenched tight on the handles of the door. He was trying to stop his hands trembling. Taking a deep breath, he pulled open the door.

And looked straight into Hisana's picture.

He had not been in here for a very, very long time. He usually came to see Hisana at least once in two days. He came, on the second day of his marriage to Rukia, to assure Hisana that things were not going to change. And after that, he did not have the courage to come here anymore after he noticed the conflict going on deep in his heart. He did not dare to come after… things had started to _change_.

"Hisana." He whispered.

He was so scared to face her. To face her after what he did. A kiss or two was forgivable, when you might have let your guard down. But he had committed the _ultimate_ sin. The ultimate insult to her memory.

He had finally claimed Rukia as _his_.

But he had also realized something when he had looked at Rukia sleeping peacefully in his arms, her soft skin touching his own. He had realized it. And he had to do _this_. And so now he was here.

It was horrible. He had promised Hisana his love would not die, promised her his heart would remain hers forever.

"Hisana, punish me." But her picture just smiled back at him, almost like she was laughing at him.

"Rukia." He spoke the name, and he felt so many conflicting emotions wash over him.

"I want to forget her, treat her like how she's supposed to be to me originally. A promise I made to you, to be fulfilled. To be just a member of the family I had to protect and to care for. Nothing _more_."

* * *

Rukia walked round the mansion, wondering where Byakuya was. It was so early in the morning. _Where _could he be? In her haste, she had just thrown a cover-up over herself so she was terrified of running into Lord Ginrei now. 'He would probably patronize me for misbehaving in the mansion.' But Rukia kept her footsteps light and soft, and she was also masking her reiatsu (something she had been learning from Captain Ukitake) to avoid detection.

She was trying to track Byakuya's reiatsu instead now. Where was _he_? She could detect his reiatsu faintly, and she walked swiftly through the halls. What was he doing outside when it was so early? What was-

Rukia stopped short. Her whole body went cold.

She had stopped where Byakuya should be. And it was… Hisana's room.

'He came _here_?'

The door was ajar, and Rukia peeked in. She saw Byakuya's back to her.

Suddenly, she heard Byakuya's voice. "Rukia."

She froze. She got ready to jump out from behind the door, to explain that she was just looking for him, but Byakuya's words cut her off.

"I want to forget her, treat her like how she's supposed to be to me originally."

"A promise I made to you, to be fulfilled."

"To be just a member of the family I had to protect and to care for. Nothing more."

* * *

Byakuya did not detect the small reiatsu coming from the small figure who stood at the door, looking at him. He was too lost in his own jumbled world. He did not notice Rukia. Did not notice her falter away from the door. Did not notice her running away from the room.

Because he had to continue what he had to say.

"She was to be…nothing more."

"But I…" Byakuya gripped the edges of the table so hard, as his knees hit the floor with a thud.

"…_can't_."

He had surrendered. He had completely surrendered.

"I can't."

"Because I'm in _love_ with her. And she means… the world to me _now_."

Yes, he was in love with Rukia, and she meant _more_ than the world to him. More than his _name_. More than his _life_. That was the thing Byakuya had realized when he had looked into the beautiful apparition in his arms. He wanted to stay there, with her forever. He would _die _if he ever lost her.

"She's done something to me. She's… she's _changed_ me. I do things I have never done before. She makes me feel things I have never felt before. I want to see her every second of every day. I want… no, I _need_ to be with her. I want to… love her for as long as I live."

He looked up at Hisana, and only saw her smile back at him.

'How could she be _smiling_? Shouldn't she be tearing into me right now? Shouldn't she come out and kill me?'

"Hisana, _please_…" Byakuya's voice became almost a plea.

* * *

Rukia ran and ran. She couldn't stop. She couldn't see where she was going. Too much tears were blurring her vision. She was going to knock something, and fall down. And then perhaps… perhaps she could hit her head hard and wake up from all of this. Wake up from this nightmare.

_I want to forget her…_

_Just a member of the family…_

_Nothing more._

Rukia felt like she wasn't in her body at all. She wasn't running. It was someone else. It felt so unreal, like this wasn't from her life. She was floating above everything else, watching a girl whose heart just broke into a thousand fragments.

Somehow, Rukia made it back to the bedroom. Her ruberry legs finally gave way and she collapsed on the bed. And that was when the tears started flowing. She sobbed uncontrollably, hugging the pillow to her tight, trying to muffle the sounds.

He didn't love her. After all the closeness, the _intimacy_, he still couldn't bring himself to accept her. She had given him her soul, her body, her everything and it still wasn't enough. She couldn't compete with the past. Couldn't compete with the sister she never knew.

* * *

"Byakuya-sama."

He turned around, but there was no one there.

"Byakuya-sama." The voice called again, a bit more insistent this time.

He turned back to her picture. She smiled, like she always did.

"Byakuya-sama, it's time for the _sakuras_ to bloom again," Hisana pointed at the specks of pink in the distance from the window.

"Yes, it is." Byakuya observed.

"But that one has not bloomed in many years. I wonder why." Byakuya guided his wife closer to him and pointed in the right direction.

She smiled slightly. "Well, you can't keep waiting for it to bloom. If it's the destiny of the tree, then perhaps Byakuya-sama should just accept it."

"What do you mean?"

"Byakuya-sama, you can wait and wait but the _sakura _won't bloom in the same tree. Perhaps, appreciate the beauty of _sakuras _in the other trees. You might even find a prettier one. That's all about living. Loving, learning, and moving on."

Byakuya jolted back to reality. Was he daydreaming?

From the picture, Hisana still smiled at him kindly. He remembered that conversation. The tree had then died the following year, but Byakuya had already moved his attention on to other _sakura_ trees.

'_Hisana, did you-?_'

Then he heard it. Heard her laughter, like windchimes tinkling in the breeze.

A light wind blew through the room. Almost as if by magic, a single cherry blossom floated through the window and landed on the table in front of Byakuya.

His eyes widened in surprise, then filled with understanding, and gratitude.

"Thank you, Hisana."

* * *

When Byakuya made his way back to the bedroom, it was already time for breakfast.

He felt elated, for the very first time in his life. Like discovering _Senbonzakura_ as his Zanpakutou. Like breathing for the very first time. He was going to be happy. He was going to live. Most importantly, he was going to… be with Rukia.

He stopped at the empty bedroom, speed-changed, and went down for breakfast.

No Rukia.

"Rukia-san has already gone to the Shinigami headquarters." Yoji smiled as he served Byakuya his breakfast.

'She had gone? _So soon_?'

* * *

**Oh, don't we hate misunderstandings now?? But I had to do this...so don't fault me...had to work it into the story because I felt this was the best way to deal with the issues in Byakuya and Rukia's relationship, which for Byakuya is the conflict between his loyalty to Hisana and his growing love for Rukia. And for Rukia, her own uncertainty about Byakuya's love for her.  
**

**So that's for Chapter 10. Look forward to the next one...and as usual, comment/review pls!! :)**


	11. Unexpected

**"The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved." -Victor Hugo-**

**Here comes the next chapter. Hope you enjoy it :)**

**Oh, and due to a feedback, I will need to warn you before you continue reading. But before that, ****I also want to stress something: This, my first fanfic is a ByaRuki fanfic :) **

**-WARNING-**

**If you cannot tolerate absolutely any other Rukia pairings other than ByaRuki, you might have to stop reading. But if you can survive, stay with me, and with ByaRuki. :)  
**

**This chapter I would like to dedicate to Willfu...oh dear, she doesn't like this, does she?....**

**To B then!! :) Thanks for all the PMs!! I really meant what I said. :)  
**

* * *

Rukia trudged miserably back to the Kuchiki mansion. Her tears had long dried, and now all she felt was... _dead_. All day long, her division members had been commenting worriedly on her condition. They told her she looked like a zombie. Captain Ukitake had even gone so far as to request her to go back and have some rest. Rest wasn't going to help. _Nothing_ was going to help.

She didn't know how she managed to get through all her duties at the Thirteenth Division. All she could remember was her hands moving mechanically about her, her body bringing her to places, but her mind never really focusing on what she was doing. Her mind couldn't think, her heart... her heart couldn't _feel_. She was _numb_. Only two words swam about her for the whole day.

_Nothing more. _

_Nothing more._

She made her way to the garden again. The garden where she first offered Byakuya her congratulations when he was getting married. The garden where he gave her her birthday gift, leading her to believe he had cared for her.

* * *

"Rukia!"

Did Byakuya come for her? He had not come to find her at all today, even when she had left the Kuchiki mansion early. She felt a glimmer of hope, but it fizzled out as soon as it appeared because it was not his voice.

She turned around.

"_ICHIGO_!!??"

The boy with the bright orange hair ran towards her, the boy Rukia had encountered one hazy night in the real world and whom she had given her Shinigami powers to, just _moments_ after knowing his name. He stopped right in front of her, his gigantic _Zangetsu_ behind him, out of breath and looking like he had been through the mill.

"Ichigo, what are _you_ doing _here_?? Did something happen???"

Ichigo was so out of breath, he was bent over and grasping his knees while struggling to breathe.

"Ichigo?" Worried, Rukia touched his shoulders.

"You married him, then?"

Ichigo raised his head to look at her. Rukia was so surprised she let her hands fall to her sides.

"Byakuya?" she asked, turning away so Ichigo couldn't see her pained expression at saying the name. "Yes."

"I-I…" Ichigo was still trying to catch his breath but he could stand properly now. "How… how long has it been?"

"Err… two months and a half."

"I was trying to come and get you all this time!!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms out in frustration.

Rukia blinked in surprise. "Come and get me?"

"Urahara-san and the others wouldn't let me. They said Byakuya would Bankai my ass off…" Ichigo's face twisted into a mocking sneer. "I told them I could dodge his Bankai with my eyes closed."

"But they still wouldn't let me. Yoruichi-san told me not to get involved in your personal matters. You had already agreed and they said there was no two ways about it. I was adamant though. And then Urahara-san knocked me unconscious for three weeks!" Ichigo's face hardened at the memory. "I don't know what spell or technique he used… but, I was out cold for almost a month! I don't know how they could possibly pass it off as a temporary coma to my father, but they did. Some _doctor_."

"And..and…your wedding passed." Ichigo struggled slowly as he talked.

"I was horrified when I woke up. I was like a madman. Everyone was worried about me, I think. Finally Urahara-san relented and helped me through the entrance. Yoruichi-san didn't come with me this time though, I was alone. So I had to take a long time to reach here."

"And how did you come to Soul Society?"

"Ganju. Just like the _last_ time." Ichigo smiled at her.

"I know it's way too late. But I couldn't… I couldn't…" Ichigo looked like he had a very unpleasant taste in his mouth now.

"You couldn't?"

"I… I couldn't _lose_ you."

Rukia gasped out loud, and Ichigo turned to her, his expression now resolute.

"I'm going to take you away, Rukia."

"Ichigo, you're crazy!"

"Follow me back. I will take care of you. We'll go to school. You… you can sleep in my bed if you want," Rukia stared at him, as Ichigo blushed. "I… I mean, I will sleep in the cupboard!!! You sleep on the bed. And if they come for you, I will fight them off. We will make it _work_."

Rukia stared into Ichigo's earnest and hopeful expression and allowed her thoughts to drift to a possible future. She _and_ Ichigo. Karakura town. Going to school. Seeing Orihime, Ishida and Sado. Kicking Ichigo's butt whenever he made her angry. Shouting at him, and pummelling him when he laughed at her drawings. It was so in contrast with the life she had now. The man she was with now. A house where she had to look and act properly. She couldn't shout in the mansion, or run about like she would love to. She sometimes didn't even dare to look at Byakuya, let alone scold him (except for that _one_ time…). She couldn't imagine herself kicking _his_ butt when he made her angry. The thought made Rukia laugh, though just a little.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Rukia." Ichigo lowered his eyes shyly but reached out and took Rukia's hand.

"You have to come with me."

"I-"

"Because... because I _love_ you."

Rukia did not know what to say. _I love you, Rukia_. Had Byakuya ever loved her? He had not told her once, except for last night. And last night was all a _lie._ Because he never did love her. And now…

She did not know what to say. Ichigo was leaning in closer, his cheeks a little red. 'I was _never _loved.' Tears started to sting her eyes.

When Ichigo kissed her softly, Rukia did not know what to do. She craved the love, craved it very much. She kissed him back.

* * *

Byakuya watched as Ichigo pulled Rukia nearer to him and kissed her. Rukia. _His_ Rukia. Byakuya's right hand gripped Senbonzakura so hard his knuckles turned white.

_It was okay, she wasn't going to…_

But as he watched, Rukia gave into the kiss, kissed Ichigo back. Not a peck, or a quick one. A long, passionate kiss. She kissed Ichigo as if her life _depended _on it. Byakuya was certain his heart had stopped, or rather dropped right out of his body in that moment. He was unable to look away. He wanted to tear his eyes out, because this couldn't be what he was witnessing.

He had come home directly after he stopped at the Thirteenth Division office and learnt that Rukia had left. He had been dying to see her all day, but his duties had kept him busy at his division. He wanted to see Rukia so bad he couldn't really focus. And now…

He watched his Rukia in another person's arms. Another man. _Ichigo Kurosaki._ He had seen the feelings right from the start, when Ichigo had grabbed the ends of his robes in the real world even when he was already almost dead. When he battled Ichigo during the _ryoka_ invasion in Soul Society. He had seen that this guy was ready to go to hell, and back, for Rukia. He had destroyed this boy's Soul Sleep and Chain Link in the real world to make him lose his Shinigami powers. But Ichigo had come back with full power, and destroyed his blade and even his _kenseikan_. And now he had defeated him once again.

But was it Ichigo's fault? Or was Byakuya just standing in the way? Did Rukia already love Ichigo, before she decided to put her duty before her own life? Before Byakuya practically forced her to marry him? Was every moment she spent in his presence torturing her inside?

'Did she..,' Byakuya realized with a dismayed start, '…succumb to him last night for his own wish rather than her own desires?'

Byakuya did not know. He thought he had seen her. Felt her. She _loved _him. Didn't she? He didn't know. All of a sudden, he didn't know.

He had learnt to finally love again, finally open his heart to someone, only to lose her. _Again._

_

* * *

  
_

Rukia walked into the room quietly, lost in thought.

"Rukia."

Startled, she looked up. Her eyes widened as she saw Byakuya standing in the bedroom.

'He's _back_? So _early_?'

She looked back at him. He was looking cool and emotionless. In fact, he looked even more emotionless and distanced today, if that was _possible_. No sign that they had shared a heated night of passion together. No sign their skins had been joined as they called out to each other. No sign at all.

"Where were you?"

"In the garden… searching for something."

_Silence._

"Did you find what it was you were looking for?"

Rukia almost felt like she and Byakuya were talking about the same thing.

'No, _impossible_. He wasn't in the garden. He wouldn't know. He wouldn't even be bothered to.'

She took a deep breath and made her decision as she looked into those cold grey eyes.

"_Yes_."

* * *

"_Yes_."

And Byakuya's heart which had been kept away locked up too long, which he had presented wilingly to this girl in front of him, shattered like pieces of glass.

Yes.

So she had chosen.

Byakuya kept his face impassive as everything inside him died at once.

* * *

Rukia had told Ichigo to meet her at the hills off West Rukongai in the morning, away from _Seireitei_. She had hurried him to go from the Kuchiki mansion, afraid he would be discovered and persecuted. He had refused to go and Rukia had promised him this to make him do so.

Now, she was still trying to make her decision. But as she looked into Byakuya's unreadable expression, she decided to do what was best for her. That was Byakuya, always unreadable. Always his own person. He would never share himself with anyone, for the rest of his life. So maybe it was best for her, and for him, if she left.

Before this lie killed them _both_.

* * *

"Good night, Byakuya-sama."

"Good night, Rukia."

Rukia laid into Byakuya's (it never was _hers_) bed for the very last time. She felt tears starting to form in her eyes. She looked over at Byakuya, taking care not to turn so much so he wouldn't know she was moving. He was turned away from her, to his own side of the bed. She lifted one hand. That hand hovered close to Byakuya, trembling and hesitating. All she had to do was move it forward and she would touch him. Instead she turned back and closed her eyes, as a single tear slid down and dotted the sheet.

Byakuya kept his pose on the bed, afraid to turn around to see Rukia. He knew he would instantly cling onto her. He would keep his arms around her tightly and never let her go, even if she was protesting. He would hold her and beg her not to leave him. But he can't. He couldn't be selfish. He hadn't given Rukia all that _much_ to warrant her to stay with him.

_She was never his, to begin with_.

* * *

**And this chapter goes out to sphinx and antonia.c, who had been asking me in the previous reviews where Ichigo was. I wanted to tell you guys so badly that he was in but decided to keep it until this chapter came out. Now I can finally shout this: "Ichigo is on his wayyyy!!!" LOL :D Besides being a ByaRuki fan, I'm also an Ichiruki fan (-pokes my profile-) so there's no way I'm gonna leave out Ichigo from my first fanfic. :) So you might have to bear with it, for a while.  
**

**So... Rukia makes her choice finally..... stay tune for the next developments :) Spare a review/comment?**


	12. Leaving and Loving

**"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." -Judy Garland-**

**The chapters are getting shorter as I upload. Thanks so much to everyone for their feedback, I didn't realize one chapter could garner that much of a response. Thanks to everyone who PM-ed me... those who told me they wanted to kill Ichigo and who also requested me to kill him as well...LOL :D And those who felt so sad over the last chapter, I'm so sorry I had to put you through that...but I'm also happy that my writing did reach out to you... **

**And also those who reviewed!! I love all your responses!! I had to update this because I had to save Tsukiei's life...but I think by doing so, you might still be dying, coz this one is also a cliffhanger. -supportive pat- **

**Keep the feedback coming...and keep the ByaRuki spirit!! :)  
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Byakuya woke up from a very uneasy sleep. It was still very early, there was no sunlight yet. He hadn't slept well, at all. He had felt something moving on the bed in the night, and he didn't know if he was struggling or Rukia was. He turned over to look at her, and instead stared into an empty sea of white sheets.

He had never woken up _not_ to see her there. His heart froze. He had been prepared for this, but he didn't think it was so soon. He quickly got up from bed and walked to the wardrobe. He did not look at her neatly arranged kimonos. He knew her too well to think she would take them with her. Instead, he was looking for something else. When he saw that at least three sets of her black Shinigami robes were missing, he knew then.

She was _gone_.

As he stood there and absorbed the reality, he noticed something on the table. Byakuya picked up the note, trying not to let his hand tremble.

'_By the time you are reading this, I would have left. Take care, Kuchiki tai-chou_. Rukia.'

So simple. She had even called him Kuchiki-taichou, the most formal of his names used.

He picked up the thing lying next to the note. It was the sword tassel he had given her weeks ago for her birthday. The sword tassel looked the same, with the silken white cords. But there in the center, only the pink crystal with the cherry blossom remained.

* * *

Byakuya went into the bathroom, cleaned his face with the hand towel and freshened up. He looked into the mirror. His face looked emotionless, as always. _Empty_. Rukia was gone.

Byakuya felt almost robotic as he walked back into the bedroom. He took up the sword tassel and lifted _Senbonzakura_ out of its case. And walked out of the empty bedroom.

* * *

Rukia hurried to the meeting spot in the hills, her hair whipping her face. Past trees, past bushes, past dirt paths. Past _memories_. She had packed her important belongings in the night as Byakuya had slept. He did not awake, though his sleep did not look peaceful to Rukia. She then scribbled a note to him on a piece of paper. She had even called him Kuchiki tai-chou in it. She did not think she could call him Byakuya-sama anymore, considering what she was doing. She could no longer call him Nii-sama, not after what they had been through.

As she had stepped towards the door, she had noticed the tassel hanging from her zanpakutou. That tassel she untied from her sword, and left together with the note. However, at the last second, she had removed the ice crystal from the tassel. It was going to be the only memory she had of Byakuya.

"Rukia!"

She nearly jumped out of her skin when Ichigo called her. She was too immersed in her painful thoughts.

"Ichigo!" This time she was the one breathless.

"I thought you weren't going to come. I was about to go after you! But you came!" His face split into a happy and relieved smile, as he looked down at her.

Rukia tried to smile. Why was it _hard_? She was beginning a new life, starting over. And the person now standing in front of her loved her. She was going to be happy. Then why did it hurt so much?

"You don't look too well. Are you okay?" Ichigo asked, noting the dark lines under her eyes and her expression.

Rukia nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

Ichigo stepped to Rukia. "We better hurry then before that aristocrat catches up to us. He might have detected your absence by now. Not that I mind fighting him." He allowed an anticipating smile to form on his face.

Rukia did not know if Byakuya had. It was still early out. He might still be sleeping and hadn't discovered the note. But she also knew he wasn't going to come after her, even if he did.

And she didn't protest as Ichigo stepped forward shyly and took her hand tentatively. She let herself be pulled as Ichigo started to run. She easily fell into step beside Ichigo. She had ran countless of times next to him, easily matching his pace. Had she ever run alongside Byakuya?

No, he never did like doing things that made his image less than perfect. He would never let anyone see him all worn-out and sweaty. Rukia looked at the trees as they flashed by her. Running…

_So you offer me congratulations when neither of us knows who my future wife is._

And she became his wife instead.

_Don't be so lofty with words, Rukia. Whoever said I was going to marry _you_?_

But he did. He married her.

More trees passed as she ran on.

_If it had been inedible, do you think I could have ate it?_

Rukia felt ticklish as she ran.

_Why are you laughing? It's not that bad? No, it isn't. You just need… more practice._

His laugh, his eyes. The ticklish feeling got stronger. Rukia felt it inside her, she felt like laughing. What was _wrong _with her?

_You wanted this, Rukia._

Her paper lantern.

_Lord Byakuya had been out searching for it since yesterday evening_. _ He left his office early both days to go out and get it._

_You were cold last night._

Seeing his arms around her for the very first time when she woke up in the morning…

_I will teach you. Just catch me._

Laughing at him when she finally tackled him on the bed. Their first kiss…

_Rukia._

She had always liked the way he called her. His deep voice running deliberately slow over the syllables of her name, caressing her even when his hands were nowhere near her.

_Don't call me like that. It hurts__._

_Would you like me to be close to you? You shouldn't. Because you will get hurt__._

_If I regret, why do I feel like making love to you?_

And he had made her feel like she never did before that night.

_I want to forget her…a promise made to be fulfilled…just a member of the family to protect…nothing more._

_'I love you, Rukia._'

Rukia realized she was crying and laughing at the same time. Her tears couldn't stop flowing yet she was laughing out loud.

Too much... everything was too much.

She stopped running and fell to the ground.

* * *

Ichigo quickly bent over to Rukia. Was she alright? He had heard her laughing as they ran and he thought she was just being happy. Then he had looked over and saw her crying. Then she had practically crumbled to the ground. He was very worried.

"Rukia, are you alright?"

She said something Ichigo couldn't quite catch.

"Rukia, what is it?"

Her voice was a whisper. "Nothing was going to change. But _everything_ did."

* * *

Byakuya stared into space, as he looked at the white walls of his private training room. It was a gigantic and wide ring of an area, totally off-limits to anyone in the Kuchiki mansion. It was the place he practised and honed his fighting capabilities as a Shinigami captain. But today, it was going to serve an entirely different purpose.

He raised the hand holding his zanpakutou, as the white tassel dangled from it.

'What a pathetic reason for a Captain to do this.' He released the blade, and it dropped, dissolving into the ground and creating energy ripples.

"_Shire, Senbonzakura Kageyoshi_."

* * *


	13. Giving it Up

**"The best proof of love is trust." -Dr. Joyce Brothers-**

**From where Rukia crumbled to the ground...  
**

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* * *

  
**

Rukia looked up at a concerned Ichigo, and her eyes were filled with tears.

"Ichigo, it's too late. I… I've fallen for somebody else."

"Wha…_ WHAT_?? Who is it??? _RENJI_?"

"No."

It was funny how nobody would first-guess it. How unlikely it was, but it had never been more obvious.

"You and I… it's not meant to be."

It was _never_ meant to be. She and Ichigo had shared a bond, a bond stronger than anybody else's yet… it wasn't… it just wasn't…

Like when she was imprisoned, and awaiting her execution at Soukyoku hill. Ichigo had pulled out all the stops to rescue her, he had come all the way to Soul Society to get her, cutting down each barrier blocking her from him… and yet, at the end of it all, as Rukia hung there and her heart thumped a second away from being pierced by Gin Ichimaru's _shinso_, it was that somebody else. Somebody else who had saved her heart. Not Ichigo. Sombody who took the sword right into _his_ heart and bled as he held her in his arms. And now her heart… was all his.

_Byakuya…_

"I'm in love with my husband." So deviously simple, such a sentence that held a meaning nobody would question yet something Rukia had taken a very long time to realize.

She watched Ichigo's dumbfounded expression as he grasped the reality and his world came down around him.

"_BYAKUYA_???"

* * *

Byakuya did not make a sound as the thousands of millions of pink petals exploded from the two rows of giant blades and swirled around him. So beautiful, but so very sharp. And the _pain_. So this was what his enemies felt, before they died by his Bankai. He lifted one hand and swept the air in one swift motion. As he did so, blood splattered across the floor, dark red staining the pure white. The petals swirled faster around him.

He could feel _Senbonzakura _angrily calling out to him, protesting against his actions. He didn't blame his zanpakutou's spirit. In their centuries of partnership, he had never used _Senbonzakura_ like this. Used _Senbonzakura_ against himself. He could understand why it was angry and offended.

His blood felt warm as it trickled down his face, his hands, his body. He needed the warmth, because he was so cold. Too cold. He was bleeding badly, he knew it. But he welcomed it. Kuchiki Byakuya had to bleed sometimes. It was the only way to feel human.

And the pain. So many tiny blades flying at him, making new wounds on his body, opening up his skin. Byakuya felt too much pain inside to notice the physical pain.

_Because Rukia was gone._

But Byakuya was grateful. Because she would still be living her life with her trademark zest and spirit. She would still go around running headlong into things without thinking first. She would go about discovering new things and sharing experiences.

Just not with him. He would have to make do with memories. That was where it _hurt_. She was going to be with someone else. He would never see her looking away from him, that beautiful shade of pink coloring her cheeks. He would never have her touch his hands again. He would never see her flaring up at him. Never have her in his arms again.

He had to make himself get hurt so bad, so beaten up, so he won't be able to run and stop Rukia from leaving him. So he won't be able to stop Rukia from pursuing her own happiness.

_I love you, Rukia._

A silver tear slid down one aristocratic cheek, glistening for a moment before falling to the floor. Kuchiki Byakuya was crying.

* * *

"Yes I love him." Rukia said, laughing as she wiped her tears. They wouldn't stop, and neither would her laughter.

"And I don't think I will be able to stop loving him for my whole life. And that is why-" She turned to Ichigo seriously. "I can't follow you back. I'm so sorry. I-"

"If it is… what you want…" Ichigo said, letting go off her shoulders and taking one step back.

"It is." Rukia smiled. _Ichigo, if you had come two months earlier…_

Two months. That was all it took for the emotionless captain to win her heart and make it his forever. She now knew why she laughing. She was laughing at herself. She was so stupid. _Nobody _stayed in close proximity to Captain Kuchiki Byakuya for two months and fell in love with him. Nobody but Rukia.

And nobody would give up on a life guaranteed of love and care for someone like him. Someone who wasn't going to love you back. Someone who kept you at his arm's length, making sure you never got to him.

But Rukia was going to give it up. She was going to give _everything_ up for him. She was going to stay right by his side, and _love_ him. She was going to open his eyes to the world, going to make his feelings come out. And someday, she was going to win him over.

Ichigo looked at her closely. "If you're okay-"

"I'm alright, Ichigo. I'm sorry, you-"

"It's alright, Rukia. I- I just want you… to be happy." Ichigo was struggling but he gave her a smile, as he leaned in and hugged her. "Take care. And call on me if you're having a bad time."

He turned to go.

"Thank you, Ichigo." She watched him lift a hand back at her.

She smiled through her tears. Now all she had to do was go back home.

Back home to _her_ Byakuya.

* * *

**:) **

**Author's Note: And this will all end in 12 hours to come.  
**


	14. Teach me how to Love

**"_There isn't any formula or method. You learn to love by loving._" -Aldous Huxley-**

**I want to thank everyone who's followed right through with this story "Teach me how to Love", and with me. Thanks for making my experience writing my first fanfic a great one, just by looking at all your reviews and PMs. **

**Yes, this is the last chapter of this story, which I've promised would end before July. It's been 9 days since the first chapter so I would say it was like a short ride on the rollercoaster. But I hoped for you, a good one. :)**

**I have already written this story complete even before I uploaded the third chapter, so whoever who was looking for changes in your PM, I'm sorry I can't change the story because I really want to stick with what I wrote. I can just hope I did this story justice for you.  
**

**I have already written an epilogue and thinking of adding it in, though. But if you feel it might ruin the story, please tell me alright? (comment or PM).**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

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Rukia was breathing hard. She was on her way back to the Kuchiki mansion. She didn't know how she was going to explain herself to Byakuya, or the entire Kuchiki family. Was Byakuya already awake? Did he see the note? Did he tell his family? Would they throw her out?

She half-prayed she would arrive to see him sleeping and burn the note in time. She wasn't going to let them separate her and Byakuya. Not after she had set her heart back in the _right _place, and on the _right _track.

She burst into the Kuchiki residence. It was eerily quiet, and nobody was in sight. Even the servants did not seem to be awake yet. A very _good _sign. She rushed to her bedroom, where the paper lantern still hung from the front of the door. The sight of it filled her with warmth and she quickly pushed open the door.

And felt her heart drop.

Byakuya's bed was empty. He was awake. _He knew_. Even the note and tassel she had left on the table were gone.

He knew. Knew she was leaving him.

Suddenly, she felt something hit her. Something big. She gasped. Byakuya's reiatsu was so _strong_. It was so fiery, like he was unleashing it without any restrictions at all. Rukia's first thought was Ichigo. Had he come for her _again_? And encountered Byakuya? She felt her heart pound. She didn't want any of them hurt.

But as she stood there, she found she could detect only _one_ reiatsu. Only Byakuya's. Nobody else. Just one sole reiatsu, powerful and deadly. Her feet turned and she began to run toward the source of the power.

As she passed the hallways, she realized where she was headed. He was training this early in the morning? And with such strong reiatsu? It was absolutely unnecessary. She remembered the first time she had trespassed in this private training wing. Nobody was allowed here, but she was being quite adventurous and wanted to find out what it was all about. It was an enormous cavern-like hall, which had been modified to be a training ground. Through her slit in the door, Rukia had marvelled at the place, wanting so much to train there. And it was also where she had caught sight of Byakuya _himself_ training with his Zanpakutou then. This was going to be second time she was trespassing. But this time, she didn't care.

She stopped at the door, and heard the familiar swish of petals. But something sounded odd with them. Something not quite right.

She quickly slid the door open, and watched the vast expanse of the white hall spread out before her. She took a moment to stabilize herself against the strong currents of spiritual energy that rushed out at her. Her attention then quickly turned to the lone figure in the center of the training hall, where powerful masses of pink rushed about. Her eyes widened in horror as shock and realization hit her.

Byakuya was _hurt._ He was bleeding all over the floor, and it was due to his own bladed petals he was controlling with _his_ own will. He was hurting himself.

Rukia gripped the door so hard she felt the wood biting into her hand.

_Why_?

What sort of terrible reason could possibly make him do _this_?

Was it… was it because she left?

Could it be?

... Did he actually_ love_ her?

* * *

And Rukia knew then.

_It was so obvious... so clear... how could she have not known?  
_

Yes, Byakuya had loved her. Loved her all along. Loved her as much as she loved him. She remembered the way his arms held her while they slept, tightening around her reflexively whenever he felt she was getting a tiny bit too far from him. His eyes so filled with emotions as he had gazed at her. _He loved her._ It didn't matter if he didn't tell her so. She had been deceived in a moment. And now, he thought she had left him forevermore.

She watched, the ache in her heart unbearable. 'He suffered then, and he's punishing himself now, making himself suffer again.' Hot tears spilled down her cheeks.

"_Byakuya_."

Her throat constricted at that instant, and her voice came out strangled and desperate. She didn't care. She didn't even bother with using honorifics. All that mattered to her was that she had to reach him. She saw Byakuya turn in her direction, shock and embarrassment registering on the sharp, handsome face Rukia had always seen in her dreams. A long cut ran down his pale cheek, and blood dripped from his chin.

* * *

Byakuya heard his name being called. That familiar voice.

_It can't be_. She came back???

She couldn't.

_She wouldn't_.

He turned and saw the angel who had made his life heaven and hell, all at the same time.

_Rukia_.

He wanted to call her, but his physical shell was in a state of heavy damage, he couldn't even open his mouth.

She was standing at the door of the training room, watching him with evident pain in her eyes. He wondered how long she had been watching him. He didn't want her to see him like this. It was terrible, the great Sixth Division captain reduced to such a state. The shame. The humiliation.

He wanted to run away from her, hide himself from those violet eyes. But more than anything, he wanted to run _into_ her arms, and die in her embrace.

* * *

Rukia was already in motion, she was running. The hall suddenly seemed twice as long as it really was. And Byakuya was so far away from her. She didn't seem to be getting any nearer with each step.

As she approached him, she could clearly see the injuries he had inflicted on himself. They were bad,_ so_ bad. Blood was dripping everywhere, and his body was torn up. And the petals were still encircling him in a pink haze, still lethal and deadly. She was going to have to go through them to get to Byakuya. And she did not even think twice about them.

She ran past the sakura petals, not caring if they grazed wounds into her skin. She just had to reach Byakuya. As a single pink petal passed her face, she felt no pain. None at all. Nothing but a tender caress. Almost like… like Byakuya's hand on her cheek.

_Hurt her not, Senbonzakura..._

Eyes widening in surprise, she looked ahead to Byakuya and saw his face in deep concentration, despite the excruciating pain she knew he must be enduring.

'He's making the petals to not hurt me. He's willing them to touch me softly instead,' Rukia realized. _'Just like how he would_.'

Her heart felt like it would burst. Just a few more steps.

As she advanced on him, Byakuya's stance finally gave way, the pain too much, his feet weighed out from under him and he pitched forward. Toward the ground…toward the hard pain…

* * *

And Rukia grabbed him in her arms, and planted her firm hands securely around him. Byakuya was a lot bigger than she was, but she cushioned his fall, pulling him to her and they fell together, kneeling, to the ground.

"Byakuya!!" she cried, holding him in her arms. "You idiot!! What do you think you are doing?"

Byakuya looked at her in amazement. She had called him an idiot. He, Kuchiki Byakuya, an _idiot_. Up to this moment, the regard she held for rules and formality were still in total contrast to him. And yet…

"Rukia… what are you doing _here_?"

"What do you think I'm doing here?? Look at you!!… You… you... you are _killing _yourself!!!" she said, tears flowing freely out from her eyes. Her beautiful violet eyes. Byakuya wanted so badly to wipe them away, but his hand was too bloody and he didn't want to taint her beautiful face.

'Did she forget something? Something she had forgotten to take with her? Or did she come here to explain to him?'

Byakuya did not know. But he was so thankful to see her again. At least to have her hold him like this for the last time was a temporarily bittersweet heaven.

"She left, back then. And you hurt too much at that time. And now, you are hurting again. But I'm _never _going to leave you, Kuchiki Byakuya. _Never ever_." Rukia exclaimed fiercely. She did not blush, she looked him straight in the eye.

Byakuya stared back at her. Rukia opened her hand, and Byakuya's eyes widened as he stared at the thing sitting in her palm. The South Maiden crystal, the snowflake glittering right in the center.

"The snowflake couldn't leave the cherry blossom. It couldn't. It _never_ wanted to." A fresh tear spilled down Rukia's cheek.

"Because they were meant to be a _pair_, right from the _beginning_."

* * *

He wasn't imagining it. Byakuya looked at Rukia, in shock and wonder.

_She really did come back. She came back for me. She loves me. _

Rukia watched as Byakuya reached out his right arm and took hold of _Senbonzakura_, which had sealed itself back right next to him. 'What is he-'

She watched as he tore something, a pile of cords that had been protruding from his zanpakutou's end. When he brought his hand back to her, it was holding the pink crystal with the cherry blossom. He placed his palm right on hers, so the crystals were joined between their hands.

_Right from the beginning._..

Rukia looked up at Byakuya, as he reached out and gently wiped the tears from her face. Neither of them bothered about the blood.

"Don't cry. Because it hurts me _worse_ when I see you cry."

"I am no good with words like this. But I have to tell you. At first, I thought it was the face swaying me," He touched his hand to her wet cheek tenderly. "But it wasn't like that. I did fall in love, but with the girl _behind_ these eyes."

The girl who could make his heart beat so fast just by being near, when not even any battle could. The girl who had effortlessly taken his heart away from him in an instant, just by smiling and being so rebellious and clumsy about him.

"_Rukia_."

He bent down and kissed her eyelids, and they fluttered close at the contact. He trailed his lips down to hers, and kissed her softly there. It was salty, sweet and gentle. Most of all, it was a promise made for eternity.

"I'm not going to let you leave anymore. Because I have waited too long for you."

Rukia smiled at him, before whispering, "I love you. Byakuya."

Byakuya looked back at Rukia, and smiled. "I love you, Rukia."

_I love you._

_

* * *

_

**And so ends the last chapter of my first ever fanfic!! (though I will probably add the epilogue...I can't stand it when any residual work is left like that...)  
**

**I'm sorry if it was suddenly abrupt like that to some of you, but that was just how I wrote it. It's a romance and drama fiction anyway, so no action. :) I made it a simple story, just all about Byakuya and Rukia falling in love (and being really cute together), realizing their feelings and how much both of them would go through for their love. And they did, didn't they?? ;)  
**

**I had a nightmare last night, and when I woke up, I suddenly had a new inspiration for another, actually, two ByaRuki stories. Both are going to have a totally different theme from this one, I already have it in my mind and pretty excited about it but... whether it will ever come out as solid hard fanfic, that remains to be seen. Because July's right round the corner, and my holidays are ending. :(**

**For those of you who requested IchiRuki fanfics, ah, I would love to write that as well. We'll see about that, alright?  
**

**Thanks again for everyone who followed up with this story. A final review/comment? -gets ready with protective shield- I don't know how all of you would react to this ending, I myself like it but everyone's got their own opinions. And I'm kinda worried how you all feel about this, but I would want to know, so I can improve. But even one happy reader is enough to justify my time for writing this story. Looking forward to your feedback. Just don't be too harsh with me, it's my first fanfic anyway. ;) Oh, and do you want the epilogue??  
**


	15. Epilogue

_EPILOGUE_

_

* * *

  
_

"Byakuya, you _idiot_!!"

Byakuya smiled quietly to himself. He turned. Rukia was making her way over to him.

It had been thirty years. Yet everyday when he woke up and saw her right in his arms, it still felt like the first time he ever held her. Everyday he was still learning new things about her.

She still broke the rules. She even sometimes ran around in the mansion now. Her views often clashed with him over certain things like the importance of life values over upholding the rules. To do what's _right_. And even worse, she could persuade Byakuya to break them occasionally with her now. The other night, she had even convinced him to leave the Kuchiki mansion in the dead of night to accompany her to the hills out of _Seireitei_ to watch the sun rise. Byakuya had protested then, saying no Kuchiki member should leave the mansion at such an ugodly hour, but instead they had spent a romantic time together in the hills and watched the sun come up with arms around each other.

She still looked so young to him. She still looked so beautiful to him. His heart still fluttered whenever she touched him. He still lost his breath whenever they kissed. He was still madly in _love_ with her.

Rukia stopped in front of him, those beautiful violet eyes Byakuya worshipped glowering.

"Where did you take _Sode no Shirayuki_?"

Byakuya raised his eyebrows.

He still kept his cool trademark expression, but Rukia knew Byakuya was no longer the old, unfeeling Shinigami captain. Actually, he never was. 'He's just a little… _private_,' Rukia thought, with a silent giggle. A few days ago, he had practically terrified a pair of unseated officers when he asked them if the load they were transporting to their division was a little too heavy for them. The unlucky (or lucky, Rukia didn't know which) officers had immediately fled in hysterics.

He did not display public shows of affection to Rukia when they were in Shinigami headquarters, instead preferring to use his eyes to communicate. _I miss you_. _I want to be with you, right now_. _You know I love you_. Rukia had learnt to read them all. Occasionally, when they found themselves walking next to each other in the division hallways (when he was just walking around and Rukia hurrying off to report to Captain Ukitake), he would suddenly reach out and take her hand in his causing the officers present there to quickly avert their eyes from the couple. And then Rukia would blush and berate him for such actions.

He was still a little uncertain, a little afraid that Rukia might leave him someday. His heart was open but still a little fragile. Rukia always reminded him she wasn't going to budge from his side, even if he threw her out. He always silenced her with a kiss and told her with tender eyes he would never ever consider even doing so. But he was getting better. 'And it was getting better,' Rukia thought as she placed her hand on the prominent bump in her stomach. 'Because our family is going to get a little _bigger._'

But right now she was angry. She focused on Byakuya and he was saying something.

"When was the last time you practiced with your Zanpakutou?"

"I- " _Damn it, he knew_.

"Last evening." Rukia lowered her head in guilt. '_That_ Yoji,' she thought.

"And what did you promise me before?"

"Never to train physically with my Zanpakutou until I'm done being pregnant."

Byakuya wanted to laugh, but he maintained his serious expression. Her bluntness and her hard head was still too much for him sometimes.

"And speaking about your Zanpakutou, wouldn't you as its owner sense it if it was _indeed_ in trouble?"

Rukia looked up. Byakuya's eyes twinkled at her.

"That's it! You absolutely did it!! I knew you did it!! You did it last night!! Because I still saw _Sode no Shirayuki_ in the evening. You had someone remove it from the training room while we were in the bedroom! No wonder you-" Rukia was practically popping with rage.

"No wonder I what?" Byakuya cocked his head to one side, and gave her one of his irresistible I'm-so-innocent face. He had been pulling this one on her for a few weeks; he knew how to work his handsome charm on her now and he never did it on anybody else but her.

"No wonder you-," Rukia felt her cheeks heating up. "No wonder you kissed me like _that_… last night!" She was always blushing in front of him even though they now had a true husband-wife relationship.

"I thought it was just ordinary last night."

"No it wasn't! You kissed me till my lips were all puffy!! Till… till I couldn't think straight and hear _Sode no Shirayuki_ calling to me!!" Rukia was adamant, Byakuya had definitely been so passionate last night. "You did it on purpose!"

"I kissed you till you couldn't think straight?" Byakuya asked in a pleased tone, though his face remained impassive.

Rukia looked away, turning even redder.

"You're just doing this because you're worried about this Kuchiki heir I'm carrying. You and your whole clan," Rukia countered.

"_No_."

Rukia looked up at him in surprise. His tone was suddenly serious.

"I just don't want you _hurt_." Byakuya's eyes were earnest and full of love as he gazed at her. Rukia felt her anger diminishing away quickly.

'Thirty years and he can still unwind me_ this_ way…'

Byakuya's arms lifted around her, and Rukia automatically relaxed into his embrace. "I don't like to get hurt. And in order not to be so, _you_ cannot get hurt. Because any pain you endure," His hands tightened around Rukia, "any teardrop from your eye, is a stab right _here_." He took Rukia's hand and placed it right over his chest, where she could feel the steady pounding.

"And who was the one who said he wasn't good with words?" Rukia's voice came out muffled by his robes.

"One has to be _humble_ sometimes."

Rukia snorted into his chest, and Byakuya had to smile.

He pulled back a little and hooked his finger beneath her chin, gently tilting her face up to his.

"Now, how about that kiss that couldn't make you think straight?"

* * *

**_Kawaii_?? Lol...I don't know if Rukia can be pregnant because they say only nobles can give birth, but oh well, Byakuya is a noble right? So yeah, just throw that in.. ;) Got the idea of Byakuya taking away her Zanpakutou secretly by watching the Shinigami Cups, I thought Byakuya could be really cunning if he wanted to...lol :)  
**

**And so officially ends my first fanfic "Teach me How to Love". Thanks again, everybody!! :)  
**


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